Still Trying

by ThomasEigenseher

I lost my wife of Dec.2006. I still feel lost and trying to find out who I am without her. I want to move on, but just can't seem to get motivated. We knew she was going to die. We spoke to each other about it and she made me promise to find someone after she was gone. I have a great family, but it seems I'm stuck. And after four and a half years, I don't want to bring them down talking about how I still hurt. most days are good,but sometimes I feel like it was yesterday.I made a short video dedicated to her,and it made me feel better.

Comments for Still Trying

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May 11, 2011
by: Anonymous

It really helps reading all the comments. I now can see that I am not alone. Thank you all for sharing. And may you find peace in your hearts.

May 11, 2011
Keep Trying
by: TrishJ

Oh....we all know the feeling only too well. My husband passed away on December 3, 2010, so I'm still in the baby step stages.
My friend and I are working on a pictorial dvd for my husband but the progress is slow. We got to the part where the pictures were of Joe and our children when they were young (family vacations, birthday parties, karate tournaments) and I had to stop for now.
I'm already feeling from my family that it's time for me to move on. I bring my husband's name up to my sister or children and they give me that look like they would really like me to stop talking about him. Instead I come to this site to vent and express my feelings. It really helps. You said it's been over 4 years. The pain never goes away. We should be thankful that we found true love in our lives but why does it have to hurt so bad?
Hang in there. We are all in the same pain here. All looking for ways to ease that pain. God bless.

May 11, 2011
try something else switch up


You are doing better than you think. You understand that you have to find some joy within your self. That you need to find out who you are to be able to find some contentment. I also struggle with finding some peace and contentment in this life. Its not easy going solo when we leaned on another for so long.

I am trying to change my surroundings so that every thing does not force my Loves memory into my mind. Also I am attempting to do the things that I have always wanted to do within some type of budget of course.

It is hard getting started. After painting 2 rooms I did not want to deal with the kitchen but once you are started working it does bring satisfaction making your own nest.

I wish that I could paint or draw I could put all the emotions that grief robs and causes on canvas or paper. I would hang them to show my progress and I would not look back. Take all the anger and despair that grief has given you and do something with that energy. It is so easy to be lack luster and blah. I have gone through it too.

Just make sure that you have not entered into depression. Do not let pride keep you from seeking help if you need it. Grief does a number on us all it changed who we are and we will never ever be the same...

May 11, 2011
Still trying
by: Mari

I am very sorry for your loss and for the sadness you are feeling. You have come to the right place because everyone on this board cares and is here when you want to express your feelings. It is nice that you dedicated a video to your wife.
What has helped me, Thomas, is to stay busy. Do you belong to a church where you can become actively involved? Do you get out sometimes? You sound kind and sensitive and people like you are needed to volunteer and encourage others.
Your wife is safe with the Lord and someday you will see her again.
It will be a yr and 1/2 on the 22nt since I lost my husband. Believe me it has not been easy. Every day I ask God to get me through the day and show me who needs comfort and caring. I have 2 part time jobs and church.I am 66 yrs old.
My husband would have adored the new great grandaughter who brings such joy. In this small town I cannot go anywhere without missing him.But I have my family and I have the Lord. The days pass and I just ask God to help me. There are some bad days but they are fewer now.The hardest part is missing him and that does not really go away.
In this journey we must take a step at a time, day by day. And keep doing. You might invite someone over for coffee and chat. But do pray and let go and let God. We are here for you, remember that. Take care of yourself Thomas. Keep posting.

May 10, 2011
Still Trying
by: Anonymous

Your tribute to your wife is absolutely beautiful. These are the things that help us heal, a little at a time.

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