At the tender age of 22 years, I married a man I wasn’t in love with for all the wrong reasons, hoping to discover happiness and avoid parental control. Twenty-three years and four children later, I finally got up the nerve to divorce him, only to rebound with another man who had been a trusted friend for many years. I thought I honestly loved him. We lived together for a year and then married. Three years later, I have come to realize he is a total narcissist and does not have my back in times of trouble. Now I am about to drag my poor children through another divorce. When will I learn? I know that I must face myself and my own insecurities to stop this pattern of running away. I feel so lost and confused. I am very sad about the whole thing. My husband wants us back but I am still very hurt by him and cannot trust that he will be there for me. What to do...
Not strike out, just poor choices... by: Anonymous
People have always told me to follow my heart. I am not sure if that is the best of advice here though as it tends to lead you in the wrong direction. Just know that life is too short to be unhappy. Not that marriage is disposable, just that if a grand mistake has been made...Let it go and find someone who will Love and appreciate you for who you are and only expects the same golden rule back. I am no expert, having had a lousy marriage and a good one (but he died). I do know that grief has raised my standards. I will not ever allow anyone to make me feel small. That I intend to live life as I choose.
Being 50, I haven't the patience for compromise all over again. I had grown comfortable with My Love and it did not feel like a compromise. You can start over any time you please or...be happy with yourself and accept being alone and independent.
It is your life to lead anyway that you see fit. For you, not the kids, not the selfish husband; YOU! It IS your life. :)
