Stryder, I will miss you forever.

by Natashia Pinsent
(Goulds, Newfoundland)

In 2004 I adopted the most loving 1yr old Black Lab/Border Collie cross. His name is Stryder and he means the world to me. Almost exactly 2 years ago he passed at only 7yrs old. Despite the fact that I knew he wasn't well and no amount of tests could explain it, the vets told me he was fine. I would have done whatever it took to save him, but he slipped away one night while I slept and I didn't even have a chance to say good bye, tell him what a good boy he was or hold him one last time. While I was sleeping, he was dying...

I know logically it's not my fault, and I know I had every test done that I possibly could have. I saw three different vets and got no answers. There may not have been anything more that could have been done. But the guilt of him going through that all alone and discovering him the next morning still haunts me. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night and checking to make sure my new dog is breathing, or worrying that something will have happened to him while I'm away at work.

Will this feeling ever go away? I will always love and miss him but it feels like I am just ripped up inside and I just can't shake it.

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Aug 17, 2012
Stryder, I will miss you forever
by: Doreen U.K.

Natashia I am sorry for the loss of your dog Stryder. It is quite natural to wake up and wonder if you are going to lose your new dog. This is part of the grief. So is anger and crying all the time. I would scream at God "Why don't you take everyone else out of my life" This is what grief does. it makes you feel you will lose everyone else in your life. It is going through the grief that will eventually let all those feelings present now evaporate. It is part of the grief and has to be experienced. I am so glad you have got a new dog. Try and keep a journal of Stryder with all the memories in and then add the memories of the new dog this way you will always have this journal to refer to in your grief days. Even keeping a journal and writing down your feelings will also help you to get them out of your system. Grief will make you feel as if you are ripped up inside. This will pass in time.

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