Such a Wonderful, Elegant Woman!

by Jale

My Nan (Grandmother)was 77 when she passed on the 19th of March 2012. My Nan had no illness and was not suffering. it was when i got back form my school trip, i found out that she had passed early hours in the morning and my Mother had found her!
I sat on the bed and my Mum said: "I've got some news you're not going to like"; now, because i was due to go on holiday to go and see my dad so i just thought that i could not go; then the words, "Its about Nan". It was at that moment in time i knew.

My Nan was very religious and spiritual and so i find the fact that she passed on mothers day at 12:00 AM very coincidental. My mother told me that when she spoke to the people that do the post-mortem; they said "An elderly person with go cold 5 minutes after they pass and when my Mum found my Nan she was warm and had a smile on her face.

I just find it so coincidental that my Nan was also looking after my little sister at the time and on my school trip i decided not to take my phone. All my other friends did to wish their Mothers happy mothers day and also my Nan's door was unlocked when my Mum walked into the house!

Writing all of this is quite therapeutic and also helps me deal with my grief. I am still grieving 9 months on due to the fact i very rarely ever cry for her as i try to be strong for my Mother.
I hope all of you read my story and give me advice to deal with my grief!

Comments for Such a Wonderful, Elegant Woman!

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Jan 07, 2013
Such a Wonderful, Elegant Woman!
by: Doreen U.K.

Jale you said you rarely ever cry, and you have to be strong for your mother. NO YOU DON'T. You are an individual. Everyone has their own grief journey to take. Trying to be strong means you are not grieving if you are not crying. Most of Grief is actually CRYING. Feeling full of Sorrow and expressing this. If you don't then you are storing up real problems for yourself in the future. You are actually stopping your emotions from a healthy expression. You are damaging yourself. You may see it as bravery but this is a false way of thinking.
The best thing you could do for yourself is to go and see a CRUSE bereavement grief counsellor. They are skilled to help people cope with grief. You may be suffering with FROZEN GRIEF. Where you find it difficult to cry. Once a counsellor starts work you will feel all the emotion you are meant to feel. You won't fall apart. Counsellors can hold the pain so that it is more bearable. You will come through this. Grief takes time to Heal from. Give yourself PERMISSION to grieve and to express this. You will eventually move forward better and also you will be able to handle other situations better in life once you have been with a counsellor. IT WORKS. Best wishes.

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