Sudden Loss of Mummy

Mummy is my life from the day I am born. It's 44 yrs of hug and kisses, almost all time by the side moment of growing up. She is 66 and very very healthy. Doc say that her body is much much younger than her age. But she fall and lost conscious and A&E didn't even scan her head... 12hrs after admitting to hospital and trying in vain to increase her blood pressure and putting her thru' various heart test, finally they scan her head and detected unconfirmed massive bleeding which they claim can only wait for self recovery. 2 days in Critical care n she left me peacefully on 23 Dec 2011 9:30am. While she let me accompany her in her final journey, there is so much more that i wanted to achieve for her and make her proud of me. I really can't live without her. Now life is so meaningless and while I know I got to wait for her to come and fetch me just like she used to when i work late, cos I have no sense of direction, it is really really very very painful... without her touch n love, i don't know how will i ever recover from this.... Obviously, I've not done enough good deeds and probably too heavy to be able to go with her.....