Sudden Loss Of My Son Joshua

On the evening of January 4, 2012 I received a phone call from your father telling me that you were gone. I didn’t understand at first what your father meant by gone. He told me you were found dead on your apartment floor. You died of a sudden heart attack. Joshua you were only 31 years old. You were alone. My heart aches knowing you died alone. I can’t begin to put into words how empty I feel inside. It’s as if the very core of my being has fallen out and everything I see around me is in indiscriminate shades of gray. There is no longer any color or any joy in my life. Every time I close my eyes I still see you as a small child and all I can think is how I failed to protect you from this. I want to pick you up and hold you close so I can keep you safe. You will forever be my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much Joshua.

Comments for Sudden Loss Of My Son Joshua

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Mar 06, 2012
My Sweet Angel "Jake"
by: Lety

5 months ago today his Grandaddy called me with the horrible news that they could not wake Jake up! Jake was almost 18, my first Born of 4 children...he had gone to bed the night before not feeling to good, said he was getting a little cold...and never woke up! autopsy showed Pneumonia Staphylococcus Aureus! How he could of been that sick and us not of know that just kills me....he was at his great Grandmothers house sitting with her for a few days so his Aunt who was Granny's caretaker could take a few days off... Lord knows its not her fault but I feel a lot of anger towards her and Granny that my son was not at home with me because she wanted a break!!! It makes me so Sad to think that he died in bed alone,,, wonder did he suffer, was he Scared, could I have saved him if he had been at home with me??? I miss my Sweet Angel So Much!!!
I seem to be having a few good days here and there , but on the bad days it still hurts as much a it did when I got that dreaded phone call!!

Mar 03, 2012
Loss of my only son, Ken
by: Anonymous

Today, March 3/2012 is four years since we got the terrible news that our son was dead. He had not been feeling well but we never thought that he would die of his decease. He got up that morning, to use the snowblower on an elderly couple's driveway. He was found lying in the snow apparently from a heartattack. I had just talked to him the afternoon before. Needless to say, he never got off the phone without telling me he loved me and I told him I loved him to not knowing that would be my last conversation with him.

I miss him terribly but don't have anyone to talk to. My heart breaks for other parents who are in the same place I am.

Mar 02, 2012
My Son jacob

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your dear son Joshua.....My son went home on Valentines day. His brother found him on the floor of his bed room. He was on top of his blanket like when he was a little boy with part of it sticking out between his legs. there was an was normal..I was told it was not suicide..most likely answers yet 6 more weeks to go. He had been hit in the face and had a broken nose a few days before. He broke up a fight. He saw his roommate at 930 complained of a headache...recently had strep...I love him so so much he is my first child. Jacob also died alone..this is heart wrenching...I don't know how to put the pieces back together.. He has 2 young boys telling them was so difficult there mother arrange for a paster that does grief counseling help her...
I understand I now has a glimpse a small window into how god must of felt when his son Jesus died on a cross for us. I know I will make it I have know Idea how open for suggestions healthy ones... I am hurting so bad..

Feb 22, 2012
by: Anonymous

On January 24,2012 I lost the light in my life. Our only son Michael Patrick was killed in a car crash. He was 41, an attorney, a boyfriend, a cousin and a friend. His wake was an outpooring of grief and love. He touch so many people.They came by the hundreds.
But now they have all gone back to their lives. Our little family will never be the same. We were a very close unit. It is the little things that get me. The start of Spring training.He loved baseball. I can't listen to music,because it was such a big joy in his life. Even macaroni and tomatoes make me cry.I have lost my joy. For everything I loved to do reminds me of the pain and lose. People say you will go on. My question to them is why?

Feb 20, 2012
My thoughts are with you
by: Jenny

I lost my son, Christopher, on New Year's Eve, 2011. Suddenly and unexpectedly. He went to bed in the afternoon and when his dad went to wake him for dinner he had gone, peacefully in his sleep, he was 35 years old. A more loving son we could not have wished for and it was an honour to have had the privelige of loving and of being loved by him. We still do not know what the cause of his passing, but indications are that it was a prescribed drug, which he had not taken an overdose of, but which had been found to cause heart problems 2 weeks before his death, when the doctor halved his dosage. The pain doesn't seem to be easing at all, I only have to look at his beautiful photographs for the tears to pour down my face and the aching in my heart become almost too much to bear. We miss him terribly and always will. I wish I had the words which would make things better for you and me alike, but unfortunately there are none which will take this pain away. I share your grief and can only hope that one day we will be able to remember the good and happy times and know that nothing else will ever hurt them.x

Feb 19, 2012
33 year old daughter
by: Anonymous

Our beautiful daughter, married 5 years with a 7 month old baby boy, died suddenly December 11, 2011 from a ruptured cerebral aneurism. She had a headache. She thought it was one of her migraines. I am so utterly devastated. She wanted to be a mother to her son. She loved him so much. Now her husband will raise him alone, with help from his family and ours. I still feel like I'm in shock over this. I trust that she is with her Lord and Savior in heaven and that I'll see her again, but I can't accept this loss in all of our lives. She was an amazing person who had so many friends, family, coworkers who loved her so much. Her son needs his mommy. I will do everything I can to fill the void that her death will leave in his life, but it will never be enough. No one could ever take her place. My heart is crushed.

Feb 18, 2012
Mother'sworst nightmare
by: Carla

To all you Mother's out there who have lost their children I pray for you. I lost my brother from a heart attack at 42. He went to the hospital and was told he had indegestion. After two more trips to the ER, he would not go back. Three weeks later he died of a massive heart attack while at work.

My daughter went on 07-23-10 to visit a friend and never made it. Eleven days later we found what was left of her body. She had been murdered and left in the Texas heat for 11 days. Besides having an empty heart, total numbness, and not knowing how I am suppose to feel, I have to deal with the detectives trying to solve her murder. It as such a shame because they have a suspect but because he has a layer they can't even interrogate him. Good thing I can't. He would never forget what I would have for him.

It's hard to know who your anger is at. Heather was a very loving and kind person. How could I be angry with her. I loved her beyond measure.

I'm glad to be able to share my story and know that you Mother's know exactly what I feel and the emptiness I feel.

God bless each of you. May the sun come out again one day for all of us.


Feb 17, 2012
Sharing in your pain
by: Anonymous

I can really feel your pain, nothing i say or do will make your pain less , i can only pray for you. I too lost my eldest son on October 18th 2011 due to a heart attack,he was 21. i know how terrible it is, one moment he is there and the next he is not there. It is is very difficult to accept the fact, sometimes you feel like just giving up and going near him. God help us to bear the pain.

Feb 17, 2012
so sorry
by: Jen

my son Brandon died 10/25/11 suddenly as well - it was a shock the day I was told he was dead. I still can't believe he's gone I agonize over it and my heart hurts so bad some days I don't know what to do. He died of a heroin overdose but no one knew he was using it - he was in the experimental stages and that's ultimately what killed him he didn't know his doses plus heroin is a street drug and you don't what your getting. I suspected he was an addict I just though alcohol and that he would have his process. Doesn't make it any easier I'm so heart broken and wish I could have saved him - my heart goes out to you Karen no mother should loose a child it's truly the worst thing that could happen to me in my life. My prayers are with you

Feb 17, 2012
I feel your pain.
by: Karen

I also have a son Joshua he passed on the 17/08/2011 aged 14yrs.We dont know what happend as yet still in the Coroners hands.I found him in the shower bay under the water the worst day of my life.Life is so hard not having him around i miss and love him so much.Your son died alone like mine did and for that i feel so guilty.I send my wishes to you nothing i can say will help because i know it wont and it doesnt get any better.,Our children are not to go before us its not fair.I just wish it had been me not him he had all his life in front of him and your son did as wellim sure he was your pride and joy just like my Joshua.Love to You. Karenxxxxx

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