Suddenly alone after 28 years and still in love with her.
Well here goes nothing! After 28 years and three kids one hot August day my wife, the love of my life and best friend texted those devastating words, I want a divorce, we had preconceived the notion that divorce was not an option and the "D" word was forbidden until last August.
Fast forward to present I (mike), 50 years old am now learning to live alone. As my wife and soon to be x is living with our three teenaged kids -Anthony (18) just graduated from high school with a 4.00, -Jacob (16) a junior in high school and an incredible athlete, he won MVP on the baseball team and is Quarterback and D back on his high school football team and like me very kind, gentle and athletic ( my mini me) and both middle children, then comes my angel Lizzy my life (13) and drop dead gorgeous, smart, caring and very sensitive. These children are my life and all planned. I have been a stay at home dad for six wonderful years and feel it would be impossible to be closer or a better father. Although I spoiled all three of my children rotten and take joy in teaching them and bonding with each of them. Truly God sent and my life. After a horrific and disabling accident at work I was disabled and luckily forced to be home. After my on the job injuries my wife whom was a stay at home mom for 19 years and never had to work, was going crazy with me suddenly home 24/7. I went back to the UW to finish my masters which inspired Anna (wife) to pursue her new career as a nurse. It consumed her and I was quick to assume all parenting responsibilities and enjoyed every second. Well after finishing top in her class Anna was immediately hired by Providence last February when it all began. After months of working and becoming a career woman and being around adults again she changed dramatically . She started getting easily annoyed by my every word and I couldn't do anything right. The house being spotless daily was an attack on her in her mind, that she didn't clean enough, my driving Lizzy to school and picking her up daily and getting both boys to every event on time and consistency was somehow an attack on how she struggled with juggling it all " when she was stay home parent", everything I did was wrong and she felt I was proving her to be not as efficient. I by no means ever had one thought along these lines. Soon sex stopped and she had no time for me. Then while on her yearly visit with the kids to Wyoming to her sisters for their yearly visit as I tended to all our pets she texted the bomb. I want you out and I'm divorcing you because I'm bitter.
Needless to say I was blindsided as I still am in love with her. After a month of war and her moving out of our bedroom I moved out as what was suppose to be a temporary break for her and now is my future. Needless to say I am devastated. No pleading or reasoning or any words for that matter will get her back. She told me she is not in love anymore and doesn't want to be married anymore. I believe the handing of the Baton in being the stay at home parent sparked serious threat and jealousy issues with her and her independence from being a nurse and working changed her mindset. Along with her premenopause and serious mood swings and me being disabled changed her personality along with the tremendous antidepressants she started taking after nursing duties devastated her when three patients died in one week and she had to break the news to the families. FYI I made plenty of money from disability and she insisted on working. Anyways here I am utterly devastated and alone after 28 years and not wanting any of this. I can't think right or eat or sleep am I am very depressed and devastated. I have no idea how I will survive my heart feels ripped in two.
When I shut my eyes I see my children . I don't stop thinking of how horrific this is and how my children's life's are forever changed. Every conversation to her is closed by some stranger (Anna) saying it's over please stop talking to me. Just a 180 degree about face. I am totally lost, crushed, and don't know how to move forward. Days go by and I can't even think of anything else. Please help me with any advice or encouraging and helpful plans to shut love off and exist and be a positive father again. I have started exercising finally and moved into a small house 8 blocks away as to not devastate them financially. We have reached child support and actually created a legal separation/ divorce contract prior to my departure as to protect my rights. It is from an attorney and it is final as a pot ti sees fair through either a separation or divorce . But who cares. By the way I pay three times the DSHS recommended amount they concluded and we did have a mediator prior to me leaving. So the legal aspect has come and gone and it's the loss and being forced to do this.