Suidice, Heartattack,Kidney Failure - 1 month time frame

by MaryBeth
(East Bethel, MN, USA)

Lost nephew Nick on his 25th birthday due to suicide. No note. No reason and I say no reason because life was on top for him. Promotion at work, wonderful new girlfriend, great friends, a new car, new home over looking river and he loved to fish, life was good. It just doesnt make sense.
The day after his funeral my sister (Nicks mother who lived across street from him) dies of a heart attack. 2 funerals in a week and half. Then we have to clean out there homes which was awful...
Im heartbroken devistated and lost.
Then my husbands grandmother just passed away last night from kidney failure. We live in MN and have to figure out a way to get him to CA and we are broke from having to drive back and forth to the other funerals and preparation for the funerals and cleaning out the homes which were over 2 hours away. I feel as if everyday Im going to receive news of another death. Im scared and lost. I dont feel like I can relate to anyone right now. A smile is fake, Im existing and doing the mundane things in life but am in a cloud full of pain.

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Oct 05, 2012
Suicide, heart attack, Kidney Failure - one month time frame
by: Doreen U.K.

Marybeth we are in the school of grief after losing our family members. We won't be able to function the way we used to. Our life has shattered. We are not meant to carry on as if nothing has happened to us.
You lost a nephew to suicide. You lost his mother (your sister) your husband's grandmother. I can't cope with one loss of my husband to cancer. You have 3 losses to deal with.
I lost my 30yr. old nephew to suicide 5 years ago. He threw himself in front of an express train. This type of suicide shows the level of his pain. My sister was mad with grief and had to have a counsellor come to the home to support her in unbearable pain.
You may benefit from seeing a grief counsellor. You need to deal with each loss separately and heal from this. It doesn't seem fair to have to shoulder such heavy burdens all at one time. It will be hard trying to come to terms with this loss since Nick was in a happy secure place in his life and he was as you say on top of things. In my nephew's case he was on medication for depression that has side effects which causes suicidal tendencies. When I lost my husband to cancer 5 months ago today I was railing at God to not take the other members of my family. I was ANGRY. Loss makes us vulnerable thinking other people will die off and leave us. Life then becomes full of sorrow and Pain.
I wish you Peace and comfort in your sorrow and grief.

Oct 05, 2012
suicide,heartatack,kidney failure,
by: silver

I can understand some of what you feel.For me it was eighteen months and I went to 5 funerals.Three of them were from May 29 to July 15 of one yr.In those 6 weeks we buried my best friend of 28yrs,my mother and my niece and nephew's other grandmother.Before that my father and after that my husband.During that time I was made guardian of my brother,he lives in a group home for retarded adults,and representative of my parents estate.My siblings live in Texas and I live in Alabama.It was a 20 mile drive each way to my parents 2 story 4 bedroom house.It had(not counting bathrooms)10 rooms and a sun porch.There were 2 sheds and a double garage with a tool room.It took us many months to clean out the house.I don't think either my mother or my father ever threw anything away.They lived in this house for 30+ yrs.We finally did get it cleaned out and sold.That was harder than I thought because we all spent time living there.So many memories.To top it off my husband and I bought a good used trailer(much newer than the one we had)and a year and a half later it still has some things to be cleaned out and it needs to be torn apart and scrapped.(It was worse than we thought because it split partially in half when we moved it out of the way for the newer trailer to be moved in.
In 1977(I know I'm backwards but I meant to put this first but forgot)my then good friend followed me from Colorado to here in Alabama.We were really close and had developed a great affection for each other (we later married).He hadn't been here(drove down)for more than a few hours when he found out his mother had died the morning after he left the night before.He had no money to get back. My mother bought him a round trip ticket on the bus.This was one of the reasons my husband loved my mother so and why it hurt him when she died.Ironically,he died 11 mos later.Loss is hard enough but to have other big loads and other deaths along with it are body and soul draining.It's hard to keep going even when you know you have to.The tension will cause even more tiredness after some of the work is done.I send prayers and love to you from someone who has been there.GOD bless you and send you strength.

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