He was my best friend and loosing him has been a very difficult reality. I lost my dear father to prostrate cancer in April this year - 2012. He was diagnosed with the disease in July 2010 and did not live long after some hopes now and there. The process of diagnosis, some of the treatments and finally the passing away have been painful - very painful indeed. I have cried like a baby at times, despite being a middle aged adult. I also saw my father cry during his last last few days - he perhaps felt he was slipping away. That makes me very sad every day, for he was always a very strong man. There were times when he seemed very brave, did not fear death and instilled confidence in me. Now that he is not around, its often a lonely world. Most people don't seem understand me or the pain - some suggest I need to move on with life as though its a ticket on a bus to a new destination.
Grief in my opinion will stay forever! It may fluctuate based on events, but will always be around in some measure. I think there will come a time when I will meet my father again - hopefully in afterlife, when I will hug and kiss him, and hold his hand forever. Sometimes, I want to hug him, touch him, hold his hand, talk to him or see him. There are times when I want to hear his voice, yearning for his loving and comforting tone. I miss you appa and love you lots. Missing you and feeling you in me every day!