Sunny

by Sarah
(Pennsylvania)


My cat Sunny died this morning. He hadn't been eating and last night he could hardly walk. I woke up to go to school this morning and could not find him anywhere. My dad excused me from school in the middle of the day and I knew it was about Sunny. Once we walked out of the building he told me he died and I broke down. I have never cried harder in my entire life. We buried him, and he asked me if I wanted to see him and I said no. There was no way I could see my buddy, my best friend, dead.

Later, I came home, and Sunny always ran to me and followed me everywhere, so coming home to only my two other pets and no Sunny was too much to take. My friends act like I'm overreacting but they just don't understand. I had Sunny for about 9 years, and he was always at my side. We had an incredible bond.

I'm 18 now, so I went through so many important things with him. I grew up with him. He would sleep in my bed and hog it to the point where I had no room. He would lay on my homework because he wanted attention. If I sat down, he was on my lap in an instant. He was such a little brat sometimes, but I loved him more than anything. It feels like I'm a mother who lost her child; I cannot stop thinking about him and all the memories I have with him.

I don't know how I'm going to continue without him. He was the only constant in my life, a friend, a confidant. I can't help but feel guilty and wish I would have taken him to the vet the moment I realized he was sick. I'm going to regret that forever, probably.

I love you Sunny, and I'm so sorry. I'll miss you forever and I'll always cherish the memories.

Comments for Sunny

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Aug 02, 2012
I understand how you feel
by: George

Hi Sarah

I fully understand how you are feeling as we too had to say goodbye to our wonderful little ginger cat (Leo) just a couple of weeks ago. He was simply the best little tomcat I've ever known and had an unbelievable temperament and character. Like your Sunny he too took over the bed and was always there looking for a cuddle and that is something we will always miss. He was almost 17 when he died and it came as a huge shock to us as it all happened so quickly and, like you, there is an overwhelming feeling of guilt in that we should have spotted something was wrong and should have taken him to the vet sooner. The reality though was that we couldnt have known and it was simply his time and, no matter how painful it was, and still is, we are comforted to know that he had the best life ever and he knew that he was loved dearly.

What's made this even harder for us too is that Leo was the last of our 5 cats and this is now the first time in 20 years that we do not have any little "fur children" in our house. It just feels so empty now. And we still expect to see them trotting round the corner or running into the kitchen "shouting" for some food but sadly all we now have are the memories - but they are HAPPY MEMORIES and GOOD MEMORIES!

They do say that time is a great healer and that is VERY true as the experience of losing our other cats has proven. Of course we miss them just as much as Leo but through time we have come to accept their loss and to focus on all the great times we had with them all. Although losing Leo is still fresh and has re-awakend the feeling of loss for the others, even in this short space of time I find that I can cope with it more. My wife is struggling more than me and yes there are bad moments and tears but I see that very much as a positive as it shows how much we loved and cared for them all. They can never be replaced and they will always have a space in our hearts but they are now all together again (they are now our "skycats") and they are waiting for us to join them when our time comes.

Hang in there Sarah, it WILL get better and you WILL, over time, focus on the good times. The guilt that you currently have will ease and life will return to normal, just be strong. And remember too that you are not alone with this - forget what your friends think - they simply do not understand. We have never met or never will but we DO understand how your are feeling and you are NOT wrong. Like this website says, grief is personal so embrace it and let it run its course.

Take care and good luck in whatever your life brings you. Anyone who loves their pet as much as you clearly did deserves nothing but the best!

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