Superhero Dad is gone

by Kim

My dad died two days ago while vacationing in Mexico with my mom. He was bodysurfing in the ocean, and then something happened and as far as we know, he drowned.

I am still in utter shock and disbelief. I vacillate between feeling completely numb, feeling like this isn't real, and bawling my eyes out in the most intense grief I've ever felt. My head hurts from being so tight while crying.

I miss him so much already. We are a tiny, small, but very close family. My passport is stupidly expired as of late last year, so I wasn't able to go and help my mom, but my brother could.

I don't even know what to write at this point. My dad was our superhero. We used to joke that he needed a little cape to put on, because every time something happened, he was the steadfast one that was there for us. He was so kind, loved telling jokes even though he could never quite get the punchline right, loved his family, and was an absolutely fantastic grandparent for my two nieces.

There are so many things that are killing me right now. The idea that he made a mistake while bodysurfing that lead to his death floors me. The fact that I'll never see him again just feels like it can't possibly be real. The fact that my future children will never meet him and feel his love is horrifying. My husband's dad passed away in tragic circumstances 4 years ago, so my kids will never know either one of their grandpas.

My dad is literally half of who I am. I can't imagine having another birthday without the person who made me.

And I mourn so much for him, and the things he wanted to do and didn't get to. He wanted to go to Europe but never made it, and now he's gone. He retired two years ago, which I am so glad because he worked SO HARD his whole life. But his neighbor was about to retire in two days and they had plans to be "retirement buddies" together. I never thought he'd die at 62.

I am just rambling now. I don't know what to say.

I just don't understand how the universe can be so cruel.

Comments for Superhero Dad is gone

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Jul 02, 2014
superhero dad is gone
by: Anonymous

I understand what you are going threw. My dad passed Aug 21 2012. This August will be 2 yrs for me. Most days are getting easier but I have never cried so much in my life. He was my hero also. Different circumstances what he passed from but for me it is the hardest thing I have ever been threw. I am havine a difficult time finding a balance with my own family my husband my two grankids and being there for my mom. Just tring to do my best. Miss my dad so much and would take him back in a minute to do the things I din't get to do with him. He has missed so much since he has been gone. Love you dad, doing my best without you.

Jun 29, 2014
Thank You
by: Kim

No no Doreen, I am not offended at all. Just reminded me of what a great grandpa he was and how my kids will never know that. It just feels so unreal. Thank you for your love Doreen.

Jun 29, 2014
Superhero Dad is gone
by: Doreen UK

Kim I apologise for getting it so wrong about you having 6 sons. I don't know how I got that so wrong. I hope I didn't offend you. I just hope life gets easier for you in time and that you do have the life you wish for and that it is happy and very fulfilling. God be with you and Bless you. Best wishes.

Jun 28, 2014
Doreen uk
by: Kim

thank you for your words Doreen, though I don't actually have 6 sons.. I don't have any kids yet. I am 33 and we were going to start our family next year. He was a fantastic grandpa to my nieces - I can't believe my future kids will only know him by memory.

Jun 28, 2014
Superhero Dad is gone
by: Doreen UK

Kim I am sorry for your loss of your Dad to a sudden death by a tragic accident.
Your mom will need a lot of support now losing a husband.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 2yrs. ago. He was 65yrs. He did not get to retire. He worked hard and long hours for 47yrs. and dies before he could enjoy his life and the fruits of his labour.
Life is cruel, but it is not till you lose one so close that you realise how fragile life is and how we could lose more family and it changes our perspective.
You won't know how life could have been, and it is no use imagining this as it would just hurt you more to think of all those moments your loved one is missing from being in your life. This is part of grief that assault us. Whenever I cook the food my husband loved it hurts. I don't cook much of those foods as it is still too painful. We just don't know what is around the corner for any one of us. Best to hold close to our hearts those who still remain in our lives. You are blessed with 6 sons. May they look after you as they get older. God be with you.

Jun 27, 2014
Thank you Anon
by: Kim

Thank you Anonymous - I am so sorry for your losses as well. I am just massively struggling with this. We were so close. And it feels so unfair. I know he got 62 years, which is of course more than many people, but it feels too soon because he was happy and active and healthy. I'm so angry at the universe.

And I am double mad because my husband and I haven't had kids yet, and he was SUCH a good grandpa to my nieces. And my kids will never know that. My father in law also died in a tragic accident years ago, and they'll never know him either. It's just too much.

I am so sorry for the lost of your dad and your child. I couldn't even come close to imagining that.

Jun 27, 2014
Your dad
by: Anonymous

Yes the universe can be cruel. I too lost my dad at the age of 62. That was a while ago, since I'm now sixty. And my kids were too young to remember him. My youngest wasn't even born. But now for the kicker, I lost my son, age 31 last year. I will always miss my dad, but over the years, I have accepted it. But my son, exactly half of that age, and my first born child, I'll never get over that. I know any death of a love one is so hard. It leaves such a void. Maybe one day we'll know why these loved ones were taken from us. But for now, we can just mourn their passing, and hope that time will give us some peace. I'm sorry you have lost your dad.

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