by susan
(montreal, Canada)

I lost my dad two years and a half ago but somehow I did not start grieving his death until seven month ago when I moved to another city. Two years after his death, I was caring for mom and going through issues from the past. I miss my dad and feel that he is with me all the time. For the first time, I started feeling what he felt in the past: his frustrations and pains and what he really was about. I cry and feel guilty for not understanding him earlier and perhaps found a solution to be around him and to help him. I always say to him forgive me dad; I was blind. I blamed for everything went wrong in my life; and I understand now it is not his fault. Each of us is born with a set of circumstances that we have to deal with and it is not the fault of our parents. Love you dad and miss you every day.

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Nov 30, 2013
by: Doreen UK

Susan I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. You were caring for your mother so was not able to grieve properly for your dad at the time. Often our minds can't cope with our loss immediately and so in time things catch up with us and press us. Also our maturity level is such that we cannot always process the complexities of life and we are human and blame a loved one for our losses and difficulties. It is only in time that as one matures that they can actually see the bigger picture and realise that perhaps they were wrong in their feelings. This is such a common problem in our human condition and more common than you think. Many of us struggle with the same feelings and then it becomes too late to put right. You need to release yourself of the guilt and realise that you could do nothing about what you couldn't see clearly then. You can do nothing about change so have to let it go and realise that parents are very forgiving of their children's shortcomings realising that they are not mature enough to realise their need to take responsibility at a given time for their behaviour and actions. In time you will be able to live with the Peace.

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