Sweet John's mom again, fly with the angels,
by Colleen
I read all your stories and wish I could ease your pain somehow. My son died on April 30th this year, the day my life changed forever. We are having a memorial next Saturday, the reason we waited was because, I needed all his brothers there, and one of them was in Afghanistan and could not come home again till then. My life has changed so much in the last four months, as you know mourning your son (or daughter) is the hardest thing in the world. My stomach still gets that sick feeling when I think of the day he died, and the ache in my heart is always there. I was working two jobs, last week I quit one, because life is too short. I have finally gotten closer to my husband (his stepfather) because I had to embrace him being there, even though at one time I resented him not understanding and telling me to get on with my life. He knows now my life is different, I hurt and will cry for no reason and he doesn't ask me what is wrong, just hugs me. He lets me talk about it because it is on my mind and in my heart. I go on for my other children, grand children and him, but I will never be the same. I know my son, John would not want me to be miserable every minute of ever day, so in his honor, I try to be what I can to the ones I love. Any way next weekend, we are going to California, to give my son a final resting place at our family's cemetery. At 11:00 we are having, a short mass, his godfather is reading this poem: God saw that he was getting tired A cure not to be So He put His arms around him and whispered "Come with Me" With tearful eyes, we watched him suffer And saw him fade away Although we loved him dearly We could not make him stay A golden heart stops beating Hard working hands to rest God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes "the best" After the reading, the priest is sing to sing "Amazing Grace" The song that then will be played is "Jesus will meet you there", look this song up and watch the video with the tree, maybe it will give you some comfort. We then our having a graveyard service at his nitch and the song then will be "When i get where I am going" as we release balloons in his honor. Please say a prayer for me to get through this day Thank you Colleen
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