Sweet John's Mom
I have posted a couple of times here. It will be six months Sunday since my son John died holding my hand. I still can't believe he is really gone and the pain is still pretty intense. I wished I believed for sure he was in a better place, but I struggle with it. I go to mass on Sunday and pray for some peace and acceptance. But I feel if I accept this, I somehow am letting him down. The same priest who came to our house to give John last rights, is our priest.
But I don't think he remembers me, he is very young and I think I resent the fact he doesn't ask me how I am doing or something.
Life just is not the same. My husband and I went away last weekend, and for the first time I slept from 8 pm to 8 am,
I didn't have nightmares and for the first time didn't wake up crying since John died. I wish we could move, John dying in our home is very hard for me. I still think of him everyday and wish I could just talk to him one more time.
Well, I am rambling . I pray for you all and am so sorry for your own tragedy and tears.