sweet john's mom

by Colleen
(Elk Grove)

3 years ago today ,my son's heart stopped beating and mine broke....what a terrible anniversary..I got some balloons, my husband and I released them in his honor, I went to school and tried to hold together for my students, my priest called me and I survived another 1095 days without my son John. How do us as parents go on, year after year, I guess by the grace of God. My son was 40 when he died, guess he will always be 40.....but to me is a child, my child and I miss him
Pray for us and I will for you
Thank you

Comments for sweet john's mom

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May 02, 2014
by: Doreen UK

Dear Anon
I am sorry for your loss of your son. Of course you cannot get over the loss of your son no matter how old he is. Your other children are being cruel to you by distancing themselves from you because you have changed. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 2yrs. ago and I don't know when I will change. I have to hide my feelings and pretend all is well, and try to act as normal as is possible to do. When you lose a child/adult child this is ONE of, if not THE biggest loss in a mother's life. You can't ever forget this loss. I feel so upset for you I feel like giving your children a pep talk if I knew them. But I am finding that this is a common feeling after loss. The WHOLE FAMILY changes, and not for the better. This is true even of extended family. They distance themselves also. I almost feel as if I have leprosy or something that people need to stay away from me. I feel so isolated. You are not alone in how you feel. Many people have the same stories to tell.

May 01, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

My son was 39 and never will be 40- as he spoke of it.
A year and a half this month. I too know not how I go on.
Grace of God so right. I speak to The Lord of love every day to help me continue on. My heart understands you. Hugs.

May 01, 2014
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. My son has been gone since Sept. 2011. The days don't seem to get any better and family doesn't understand. They think you should be the same as you were before and that won't happen. I lost a big chuck of my heart the day my son died. He was my best friend and I miss him every day and think about him all the time. I have other children but they have distanced themselves from me because I have (changed)well I can't change my feelings about my loss. I love my children but they can't seem to accept my feelings.

May 01, 2014
sweet john's mom
by: Doreen UK

Coleen I am sorry for your loss of your precious son John. So young and denied a chance a living his life. It must have been a difficult day for you and your family. What a lovely way to honour your son. How does one go on? even one day at a time? I guess your are right when you say Only by THE GRACE OF GOD. (go we). None of us knows when our day will come to AGAIN bury a loved one. I am more emotional now in just 4 days it will be the 2yrs mark I lost my precious husband to cancer. I somehow thought it would get easier. BUT NO. It just makes our loss more real. My heart would break into a thousand pieces if I should lose any one of my three adult children. I feel very vulnerable to loss now. Stay Close to God as He is our Comfort and strength to go on each day.

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