Taken way too early

I can't believe it's been almost three years since I've seen my mom. We were always such a close family when she was still with us. This all starts back in the spring of 2008, my father recently became a U.S. diplomat and was sent to Kingston, Jamaica in May of that year. My two sisters, my mother and I followed him a month later on June 18th. With our Dad not there I really felt I had a big role to play. We were supposed to be in Jamaica for two years, but then in late July my Mom had some problems after a doctor's visit. They didn't have the equipment to treat her in Jamaica, so we went back to Washington DC a few days later. Soon after, she would find out she had Colon Cancer, I didn't find out for another month or two. Still, I couldn't believe that. I really thought she could've made it through and life would be better again, I really thought that. Up through mid December, she really seemed to be getting better. Then on Christmas Day, we went to the hospital, she had to receive some treatment, and the rest of the day she was feeling terrible and couldn't get out of bed. I felt so bad at the time, however it wasn't the cancer making her feel bad, it was mainly the medication she was taking. My sisters and I traveled up to Long Island, NY the next day to see some relatives, we've been planning this trip for a while now. We were up there until January 4th, when we came back to DC, we found out our Mom went into the hospital, I felt completely devastated, even worse because she was in a part where children weren't allowed (I was 13 at the time). It wouldn't be until January 30th I finally saw her, my Dad had to get special permission for my sisters (ages 11 and 9 at the time) and I to see her. I felt so happy being able to see her face again, not too long later, she was moved to a different part of the hospital where children were allowed, we saw her much more frequently then. Then on Friday, March 5th, 2009, she finally was released from the hospital and came back home. I hated it though how she had to leave in a wheelchair, and had to use a walker to get out of the car, but she hasn't moved in the last two months so it made sense I guess, I was just happy she finally came home. Shortly after, our relatives from Long Island, NY who we went to go see after Christmas, came down to see our Mom, they would be coming down a lot more over the next few months. After she came home from the hospital, the next few weeks would go alright, but then April came, I was having issues at school (I was in the 7th grade at the time) and I would take it all out at home, even worse, more on my Mom than anyone else. I was getting in arguments, disrespecting my parents, I just felt so horrible about all of that poor behavior I was showing. This pretty much continued up through June. And I wish more than anything I spent more time with my Mom than I had. Then on Monday, June 8th, 2009, life took a total slam. I went to school that morning, and it seemed just like any other day, then I came home that afternoon at 3 PM, it was only me, my sisters were both staying late that day for other events. I walked inside and was greeted by my Aunt and Grandmother from New York who were staying at our place for a few days. I got all settled in, then my Dad came out to talk to me. He slowly started by telling me how Mom was doing well at all, I had no idea at all of what he was leading into. Then I slowly had the idea that she wouldn't make it much longer, sadly, that's what he was aiming to tell me. I went in her room, to see her, she was barely breathing, she was in a coma, I couldn't believe it. She couldn't talk to me at all, but I could talk to her and she would hear me fine. I spoke as if it were my final words to her, thinking she still had a chance to survive a bit longer. Then my sisters came home, and were told the sad news. Our Aunt decided to take us out to Starbucks then. We returned home shortly later. I was wanting to go check on my Mom, my aunt was advising me to stay out in the living room though. A few minutes later our Dad came out wanting to talk to us. I saw my grandmother coming out as well looking sad. I knew he had no good news to tell us. He gave us all a hug and said "Mommy Died" I couldn't believe it. There hasn't been a worse moment in my life than right there. I couldn't believe my mother was gone, I would never see her again. She always was my biggest role model, I couldn't believe what happened there at all. It's been over thirty two months since I've last seen her, and over this time, life couldn't have been any worse at all than what it has been. Family arguments, fights, misbehavior, and a bunch of other garbage. We were once such a close family, now we're as close to each other as the North Pole and the equator are to each other. We're now living in Sao Paulo, Brazil actually. My Dad was sent here back in October 2010. I can only imagine how better this place could be if our Mom was here. I miss my Mother more than anything, I've had dreams ever since we've lost her only imagining what life could've been like had she never left us. Everything would've been a lot better, I know that for one thing.

Click here to post comments

Return to Lost Moms.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!