Taken way too soon

by Jade
(Birmingham, United Kingdom )

Graduation ❤️

Graduation ❤️

I am suffering terribly following the death of my mom on the 10th July 2014. She was taken from me and my brother suddenly at the age of 49. I'm 23 and he is 19 , now that the dust has settled I am starting to struggle as there is a massive hole in our lives. I miss her more than I could have ever imagined and just wish I found have more time with her. She is going to miss so much in my life and I sometimes feel like I will never be happy again , and I almost don't want to be ,

Comments for Taken way too soon

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Aug 20, 2014
Taken way too soon
by: Sob

Dear Jade,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what its like to lose a mother and nothing can come close to the pain one feels when he/she loses a mother. I lost my mother to cancer on 11th of July 2012, one week after my 24th birthday. I still haven't been able to come to terms with the fact that I'll have to live my entire life with out her. I still can't believe she is gone. I was her sole caregiver for 3 years and she took her last breath in my arms. We were as close as an mother and daughter could be. I miss her each moment of my day.

You will of course miss her and at this point in time your grief is still very raw. It is OK to be sad right now since you lost a very important relation in your life. Don't rush yourself through anything. You won't feel the same forever. Take your own time since only you know how you feel. Spend more time with your brother since he has lost the same relation and you two can share how you feel with one another. Go out for a walk everyday, even if you don't feel like going out. Try seeking professional help if nothing helps.

Remember, your mother will always be in your heart . A relative of mine once told me that when our loved ones are alive they may be separated from us if they live in a different house/city/country. But when they die, they are always with us since they forever live in our heart and mind. Do things that she wanted you to do. Don't let your feelings change who you really are. Take very good care of yourself.

Lots of love and hugs for you.

Aug 17, 2014
I know your pain
by: Samantha

I am so sorry for your loss. It's the most profound pain losing your mum, especially so young. I lost my mum suddenly 3 weeks ago and it still feels surreal, like I'm having the worst kind of nightmare that I can't wake up from. My mum was 71 and I'm 39 and I still had so much time left with her I thought. She has also left behind her 6 year grandson, who she adored and it breaks my heart that she won't see him grow up. I have no brothers or sisters and my dad left us when I was young. We were extremely close and I feel my world had fallen to pieces. I don't know how to live my life without her. I have just started writing in a book about my thoughts about her, or if I just want to tell her something about my day or my son. It's not the same as having her here but it's a way for me to still talk to her. Remember though she is always with you, you and your brother are her legacy and I know the grief will never truly end but hopefully one day we can start to smile more and learn to live our life's with them always in our hearts.

Aug 15, 2014
Taken way too soon
by: Doreen UK

Jade your mum was so young and it is natural to think you would have had more time with her. We are here to enjoy life and not think of death even though we know it will come. It is usually in later life that mum/dads start planning for there death by making a Will and putting money aside for their funeral. It has been almost 5 weeks and this is the time that grief kicks in. The best way forward is TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. Give yourself a part of the day to ponder and grieve your loss of your mum. Days will pass and memories return and you will feel up and down with your grief. This is normal. You may even forget what your mum looked like and what she sounded like. This is also an aspect of grief. But in time it will all come back. This can also be a confusing time not knowing what to expect from grief. If you find yourself struggling you could go and see CRUSE bereavement services for support. You can't be expected to feel happy just now and it makes one feel they will never be happy again and be in this grief forever. YOU WON'T. As the days pass it will get easier and you will in time get your life back. It is part of your birth right to be happy so don't dismiss this. Don't punish yourself by being unhappy.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 2yrs. ago and I could not function for 6 months. I nurtured myself back into life and this is a good foundation to healing from grief. Do special things for yourself each day to build up your self esteem. Have fun times with your brother and build up your relationship by making a special day for yourselves to enjoy together and try and build on this. You will be helping yourself to heal. Don't be afraid to laugh or be happy. At first it will make you feel guilty as if you should be mourning. But you will realise in time that this is also part of the grief process. You will recover from grief in time. It is a very difficult loss to lose a parent especially a mum who is our primary care giver and nurturer. I am sorry for your loss.

Aug 14, 2014
To soon
by: Anonymous

Good Afternoon. I would like to say that I am sorry for your loss. July 2014 our 22 year old son took his life. I remember the first few weeks of having either extreme pain or no feeling at all. I have since learned that time changes things and now a year later, I have learned that life does go on. I have my break downs. I know he is in a much better place then any of us are. He is safe and with God. The loss is so deep. I promise you that it will get better and you will begin to see light. Reading some good books about going to heaven has really helped especially in the early days. I clung to my bible. I also ordered a solar cross that I put where he is and I kept one for my yard and at night I see it light up and I think of him and his light. You might want to do the same. I pray you and your family heal and you know the lords presence. I pray that The lord shines light on you and your family and keeps you safe during your time of need and seek the kingdom of the lord.

Aug 14, 2014
support each other
by: Anonymous

Hi there. Im so sorry for your loss and know exactly how you feel. I lost my dad to cancer a month after my wedding......and lost my mom 6 years later when my son was only 9 months. It will soon be a year since she died. nothing feels right anymore and its becoming more difficult to pretend to be happy. one tries not to question God about the suddenness of it all....but you are only human and its normal. i pray that you have a good relationship with your sibling as you two willed each other during these dark days. speak about her every day and keep her legacy alive. she is so proud of you and wants you to be happy, even if its not with her. take care

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