Ten months without Sean
by Carol,Seans Mom
September 15th marked ten months that my 24 year old son has been gone. He has missed so much. Holidays, his 25th birthday,his dad's 50th birthday, his sister's 16th birthday his other sister's college graduation. As I sit here I realize he missed his first summer. My life is a disaster now. I do not see how I will ever make it through this. I can't believe he is gone. Forever? I have become moody and depressed. My poor girls not only lost their only brother they lost a huge chunk of their mom and dad. We are no longer together but are on friendly terms. We both suffer incrediblly. I was remembering the days when I thought I had it all. I guess without knowing it that was to be the happy time in my life. I just felt so lucky. Now I feel alot of despair. It is scarey how much life scares me now. How much dread and sadness and pain I have. I go to support groups and have met wonderful people. I am horrified by how many families lose their children. Stupid me, I guess I thought this much crap only happened on the tv's. I never imagained being in so much pain and never imagined one of my children wouldn't be here for my whole life. I took so much for granted. I wish I could turn back time....