The 25 yr old daughter of my cousin

by e wilson
(west plains, missouri)

We are all still reeling. I was in Colo just before Thanksgiving caring for my mother, whom we THOUGHT we were going to lose. She recovered from being on a vent, and that Tuesday before Thanksgiving I flew home to Missouri secure in her recovery. My Uncle had been instrumental in supporting us while mom was so close and we rekindled a closeness that the miles had infringed on.

I called that Uncle to see how mom was doing, and he was incoherent. He was at his grandaughter's apartment where she was sitting on the couch, 25 years old, motionless. Her 4 year old was trying to wake her. My cousin, her mom, went to the her apartment to find out why she wasn't answering her phone, it was Thanksgiving and they had made plans.

He told me to notify the family...I didn't realize I had called at the exact moment they were dealing with this.

They have no idea why this happened, autopsy results are inconclusive. I feel guilty for being SO HIGH in the elation of my mom's recovery, just to turn and watch my family dive into the abyss of grief, particularly grief during the holidays. The family was very close, all working at some time in my Uncles business.

I'm here to help my cousin find a place where she can find like parents. She is at this time raising the 4 year old son of the lost daughter, and that gives her more incentive to get up every morning, but on the weekends when school is out, and we chat online, I can almost FEEL that grief pouring thru the miles and am so very worried about her.

"How do I continue life without her?" seems to be the most asked question, and the one I have no answers for.

If any of you have found a nice place to chat with other parents in this situation, I would appreciate an answer, I feel like the only thing I can do is help her find a place to heal.

I am impotent in providing that comfort.