The Aloneness

by Yvonne

OK! I am not sure how to explain this and I wouldn't say it to my close friends or family because they would think I didn't want them to come over anymore. But it is like when people come over and then they all leave, that feeling of aloneness again is so overwhelming. It is like you are put back in time a little where you have people around and things are semi-normal and then they all leave and you are thrust into the reality that you are alone- time after time. I am probably not explaining it very well but do you understand? Does anyone else go into a deep depression when people leave? Don't get me wrong-I love having people come over-I need for people to come over but then they leave, and sometimes I wish they had never come.

Comments for The Aloneness

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Mar 30, 2011
know how you feel
by: Lee

My husband died feb.4, 2011 from a sudden cardiac arrest. We were at a work party and he was dancing with a friend. This last wkend I went with a friend out of town to visit some of her relatives. It was nice to be away from home--as we had no children and I was very alone. We listened to music and had some wine. I thought life could be good again. We spent the night there and it felt great to be away. Then came home to a empty house and felt very sad. The house was so quiet. Just hoping as they say, time will bring some relief.

Mar 08, 2011
I truly understand
by: Eunice

This loneliness sometimes seems never ending. Most times, I'm pretty much isolated at the house for days at a time, and I well know that the silence is deafening. My oldest son is a truck driver and once in a while makes it down here to GA to deliver a load and he'll either call me to go over and meet him for a few hours or come pick him up for the night, which is great, at least, that gives me a living person to talk to, but then, when I take him back to his truck or leave him at the truckstop after meeting up with him, I cry all the way home. He lives up in KY. I still live here in GA by myself with no other family, with the exception of my husband's family around. Sometimes they will ask me over for dinner, sometimes I'll go, but I know that I'll be given the 3rd degree over settling my husband's estate, they all remind me sometimes of vultures, it's like they can't wait to see just how much they're gonna get, that and if I let them, they'd pretty much strip this house. I look forward to going to Hospice's monthly meetings called healing hearts, just because I know there are others there like me who are going through the same thing. Trying to figure out, where do I go from here, is not easy and neither is dealing with the loneliness. My best to all of you

Mar 05, 2011
Alone in a crowd of people and more alone after...


I know that you don't believe me but as my mother said this too will pass. The loneliness will not disappear. I still am terribly lonely. But, The quiet will not be as deafening as time passes. Grief is unrelenting, it never cuts you a break. As soon as you think well I am making it a little better...A memory will slam you back to square one. But as time passes your recovery time becomes a bit easier. We will never be the same again but time will allow a new life. One that we do not understand at first. An impossible feat of courage but, one day we will realise that we were damn lucky to be loved by such a wonderful person. And every couple holding hands will not anger us. My best to you on this long hard road of grief and remember that we are here always to talk to.

Mar 05, 2011
by: Karen

I understand what you mean. I lost my husband Dec. 12 and spent a lot of time with family during the holidays. Now I am alone unless I go see someone. I sleep with the light on too. I can't stand to come home after dark not because I'm afraid but because it's so sad. I am back at work but the week ends are so long and empty. Does it ever get easier?

Mar 05, 2011
I understand
by: Jackie

Hi Yvonne, I hate being alone. It is the worst thing ever. You're right friends and family come over and visit then they leave and the silence is deafening. I hate this so much. I hate the darkness. I know I have to adjust to this new life but I don't want to. If it wasn't for my children I would end this misery. I live for them now, but it isn't enough. I pray for guidance and comfort. We all are in this together. Please take care of yourself. Keep trying.

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