The Angel I Never Knew

By the time I was born, dementia had taken Grandpa's mind. He was there physically, but in some ways he had already died. Then a few months before my second birthday, Colon Cancer took from us what was left of him. It's a special kind of grief when you never actually knew the person for who they were. I grieve for what should have been. I wish he'd not only been here longer but retained his mind. I have no special memories of him. Only stories and old photos. We'll never laugh together, he'll never go big brother on me at the mention of a boyfriend, we'll never sing a duet of "Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer", he'll never take me sledding, so many things we were supposed to share are gone.

Sometimes it seems silly to get sad over him. He's been gone so long and I never knew him for myself in the first place. But there are times I'll be at Grandma's and I'll sit in his chair and close my eyes and I imagine him sitting there and telling me an old story from his scouting days. I just want my grandpa.

Comments for The Angel I Never Knew

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Dec 23, 2010
"Grandpa held our tiny hands for a short while, but our hearts forever"
by: Shannon

I read your post yesterday, and cried. I wanted to write, but didn't know how to express what I was thinking.

My dad died 11/10/10. I have a 3 year old and 18 month old. My heart hurts so bad, but most of my tears are because my boys are never going to know the WONDERFUL, AMAZING man that was my dad. He was going to be the best Papa ever, and was so excited to be a grandfather. He couldn't wait to take my boys fishing, teach them to water ski, and build forts.

I will show pictures to my boys, and tell them stories for the rest of their lives. I want them to grow up feeling like they have a piece of him with them still. They are too young, and will not remember first hand experiences they've had with him, but I do not want them to forget...
Thank you for sharing your story.

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