The coffee cup

by Jackie

My husband of 24 years left me on Nov 14 2010 to be with God. I brought him his coffee and was down the hall when I heard a crash. I returned to the bedroom to find him collapsed on the night stand. He said something that I could not hear. I will never know what he said and it drives me crazy what it was.

I went into a panic and called 911. I started CPR and waited for the EMS to arrive. I ran from the bedroom and called my sister to pray with me. They took Bob to the hospital. When I arrived they told me they did everything that they could but he was gone. My heart sank I did not want to believe it. I did not get to say good bye or I love you.

I am not ready to be a widow at 48. We have a 15 year old son who needs his guidance into manhood. Every morning I check to see if he has moved his cup. The cup was still there this morning and I can not get thru the fog I have been in the last almost 4 months. I want to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. Why is life so unfair??

Comments for The coffee cup

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Mar 13, 2011
me too
by: Jackie

Hi Jackie, I lost my husband in Oct. I am so lost. I am sorry for your loss. We who come to this site are here for each other. I come every day, it helps me get through the day to know someone else understands this pain. I feel my husband's presence often and so do my children. Please take care of yourself and know that you are among friends.

Mar 13, 2011
He Didn't Leave You
by: Patti

Jackie~I lost my husband on December 3, 2010. I stopped saying, "He left us." He died on that day. He would've never left us had he been given the choice. If your husband had the choice he would still be here.

So why did God choose to take our husbands? That is what we are left here to deal with and figure out. A fifteen year old boy needs his father at this time of his life more than ever. Someone needs to teach him how to be a man.

I've been doing so much reading on life after death, praying to God for a sign that my husband is still with me. My son says he feels his presence every day. I don't feel it so much but I'm feeling so sorry for myself that's about all I feel these days.

I'm a strong believer in the after life. Your husband is watching over you and your son. That doesn't ease the pain and the loss of their physical presence much does it?

We are all here for you and hope you find some peace in your day. Pray, talk to God. Grief is the price tag on love. The more we love, the higher the price we pay in our grief. We'll find the answers some day. For now the pain is great. We must do what we can to make it through each day and comfort each other.
Blessings to you.

Mar 13, 2011
Coffee cups
by: Judy

I have a coffe cup too. It was Barry's mug all through his time in the military and has his name, rank and last brigade on the back. I have coffee out of that cup every morning and just for a moment he is with me to start the day. My doctor told me to cut my coffee consumption back to one cup a day, so I fill this big mug half with coffee and half with hot water but I won't start my day without his mug.

Life is not fair. All of us who are posting here are testament to that. But together we can be stronger and help each other through this rocky time. Someone here will always understand exactly how you are feeling.

You can do this.


Mar 12, 2011
by: Tony

i am sorry for your loss, you are not alone in your grief, God understands it, pray to Him. I do. Life sends an awful curve to try to deal with, my Mom passed away last month, I was her caregiver. She died right in front of us, I cry just as much as if it happened yesterday. God bless you in your grief.

Mar 12, 2011
The coffee Cup
by: Mari

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you are hurting a lot. It is hard to lose someone you have loved so deeply. It has not been very long and you are no doubt dealing with a lot of emotions. I am glad you have your son and daughter there.

At this time with the loss so recent it will be hard. Just stay close to the Lord. You need time.
The coffee cup is a symbol of your love.
We are here for you. There are a lot of wonderful people on this board. Keep posting whatever is on your mind and heart. We care for you.

I too bought my husband a coffee cup that says,''I love my husband'' on it. I will keep it forever. My husband passed away Nov 22 2009.
I am better now but miss him so much esp at night when I have no grandkids around.

I think life can be unfair and can really do a number on us but we have God to see us through. Keep posting. Take care of yourself. We are here for you.

Mar 12, 2011
The coffee cup
by: M Mack


I am so sorry for you and your son. What a terrible thing for you to witness but at least you were with him until the end. He was not alone and that should be some consolation to you. When my soulmate left me, I was not there- working a double. I regret everything that happened that day. We had cell phone problems- the service kept going up and down throughout the morning. I did get a message and a final I love you but I never had the chance to talk to him, hold him or look into his sweet eyes. I found him when I came home, still warm, no pulse, a massive heart attack. That was my final goodbye, 3 minutes from the 911 call until they arrived. I love him more than life itself and he will forever be in my heart. Your grief will take time and you need to take it at your own pace. Come here as often as you need to. It's comforting to know you are not alone in this. Everyone here on this site has experienced what you are going through. My prayers and love are sent your way. I know you need it.

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