The Day My Appendix Bursted
I was out of town on a work trip, and suppose to be heading back to L.A. I had a somewhat upset stomach all week. When Saturday rolled around and my team and I were suppose to fly back, I awoke in tears and could hardly walk. I needed help. I was hurting and in so much pain. I arrived to the doctor's office and they gave me a funny liquid to drink. I went in to have x-rays and I felt a warm fuzzy sensation all over my body. About 20 minutes later, the surgeon came in. He said 'you have acute perforated appendicitis' Luckily, you have a strong enough immune system and the burst has contained itself in one area.
I asked if I was going to die. He said he would not let that happen. He said we needed to get started immediately though. I agreed, obviously. Before I knew it, we were in a very cold operating room and I was out before I could blink my eye. When I awoke I was in the recovery room. Here I was alone, from home, no one stayed behind and had 3 battle wounds in my stomach. Luckily, my kind aunt drove down to see me from another state. My mom finally got a plane ticket and I had some familiar faces around me.
The nurses were not very nice. I couldn't get my feet into bed and they would just leave me sitting there. My mom and aunt were really a lot of help though, and helped me through and through. I did meet a rather cute and friendly male nurse and had no thoughts at first. As the days went on though, I started thinking...if my appendix ruptured to get me to this hospital to meet the man of my dreams that would be a story to tell the grand kids for sure!! lol
The reason I'm writing though is because I'm a perfectionist. This whole situation screwed up my work schedule. My go getter style. I am so freaked out. It feels like the death of my health. I was out of town for 2 weeks and I came back thinking, I can just go back and do do do again---WRONG.
I got up to go to work today and ended up back home before I even got there---EXHAUSTED. My body is saying rest, rest, rest. What's that, I ask? I am at the depression and lonely stage. I feel like my friends in LA suck. That no one knows how to be selfless and help me out and just be a friend. I now want to isolate because I am so freaked out this even happened. I am angry, but trying not to hold it in because I don't want to get sick.
Anyway, I have it all going on right now. I can't stand depression and try not to even believe in it. I feel depressed though, like no one cares. I know I will come out of this somehow. I just need to have patience, understanding and compassion for myself. I am so sad though. I feel powerless. I know my body wants to thrive and be back in perfect health and is working it's way back...I just need to be gentle.
Thanks for listening or reading if you did. I wish you all the best