The Day My World Stopped Moving 10-24-12
My dad was my hero and he died suddenly on October 24, 2012. He was having neck pain and always passed it off as an old injury that wasn't getting better. My mom came home at lunch to go with him to his doctor's appointment and found him already dead in his recliner. He was only 62. He died of a blocked carotid artery that went unnoticed by 3
My struggle is that it still doesn't seem real. I keep waiting for him to call (we talked every day at 6:30 pm and sometimes 2-3 times more), I dread going home to my mommas because it hurts so much. I know life's not fair...but I feel so cheated and crushed with his being gone. My sole motivation in life was to make him proud and now I find myself struggling to redirect that motivation. I'm 31 years old and I feel like I should be handling this better. But I cry every night and my heart physically aches to talk to him or give him a hug.
I was very close to my dad. Our family was rare. We took family trips, loved spending time together he was very involved in mine and my brothers life. He was a caring, loving man and it feels so wrong that he isn't here.
When I am at work, I can set it aside for a bit. But at night at home, the grief is frightening and the fear of what has changed is suffocating. I have been told there is no timeline for this and sadly, I have been told that the feeling of disbelief will not go away. I guess I am writing this in hopes of finding help with moving forward. Like the rest of you, I feel absolutely lost.