The Dog's ball is in the toilet pipes

by Zoe

The dogs ball is stuck in the toilet and it will not come out,
The hurricane blew the storm door off of the house
The new cabinets came in for the kitchen , and I can't get them up the stairs
There is a tree that has fallen over the fence in the back.
I have a list. I always had a list, the thing was, I had John he would cock an eyebrow and off
He would go, to make sure that everything was taken care of.
He always made sure things were the way we needed them to be.
I never had to worry about things breaking
or doors getting ripped off in hurricanes.
I had John and he took care of me.
Then I would rub his back and make his favorite dinner, and cuddle and love him
And I took care of him.
Now I just have things that are broken, and a list
Of course the thing that is broken the worse is my heart, my soul, there is no list for that, there is no repair, there is just the endless pain of living without my John

I love you John, I always have, I always will, I miss you, I cannot do this without you.

One breath, one step, one day at a time.

Comments for The Dog's ball is in the toilet pipes

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Sep 17, 2011
Now I have a new toilet
by: Zoe

So the ball was so far In the pipe my arm got stuck in the toilet trying to get it out
I had to call a repair man to free me and I had to buy a new toilet
I hope John is laughing saying only my baby can get stuck in a toilet
One breath one step one new toilet

Sep 17, 2011
by: Judith in California

Well Zoe, you sure know how to get everyones attention with that title. Isn't what we expect to see here normally. There is humor in it but the sadness you feel is certainly understood. BUT you have made it thus far and will continue to carry on with God's help and John's spirit to help you. It's surely a rough road and as things go awry we have to take charge and do. You are a strong woman and can do it. John knows that too. My Chuck accused me of being Wonder Woman and I'll be willing to bet that you, and the other women who come here, are too.

Call a plumber and carry on Zoe --- You can do it

Sep 17, 2011
Surviving Irene and Life...(In VA)


Having gone through the same hurricanes you have I understand. I say hurricanes plural because of the emotional whirlwind that Irene brought to us emotionally an physically. My roof needs repair (due to Irene)and as the 2nd rain came, a heavy rain that caused my living room ceiling to leak and almost cave it.

These are things that we would work out together. Paul and I made it though hurricane Isabelle. Together we camped out without electricity. He would have had the chain saw whirling the day after the storm. If he were here that lunitic would probably be on the roof trying to get a tarp on it while I stood holding the ladder scared out of my mind.

He was a doer a shaker a worker and together anything seemed possible.

We had some heavy winds and expected rains recently. The tarp was blowing wildly It looked like a giant flag blowing violently trying to hold on. As I looked up on it I wondered how I could tame the beast enough to secure it. Me? up on the roof? Would that make my son an orphan? Was there a way that I could do it...safely?

As I said before I do not want to be the man of the house. And like you Zoe I CAN do this. I just don't particularly want too alone. But in doing so our independence grows we become the strong side of ourselves that we were unaware of.

Come here for strength, We really do understand and it is wonderful to know that I am not the only one feeling these feelings you have just expressed. It helps me a great deal as you have all along. And know that I am here for you too Zoe and together we can do this...

Sep 17, 2011
Honey do lists and no Honey
by: Judy


Way back in these postings is one titled "Aaugh" in which I was bemoaning the same thing, that life is so hard in small and big ways without your love. The loss of your husband takes so may things that you don't notice until you realize you've never had to do this thing before. I'm short so replacing light bulbs, getting things from the top shelf, hanging things on the top rod in the closet etc are all now major challenges for me. As for repairing things, I think of my mechanic as a guardian angel, and am constantly looking for a reliable (emphasis on reliable) handyman who can fix small things for a reasonable price. Somethings I will tackle myself and I'm proud of myself when I do but there are many many things that are beyond my skill level and strength. Yet another reminder of how I miss my Barry and having a partner in life and the wonderful love we shared. But I can do this and you can do it too. Just keep hanging on.


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