The dreaded Christmas

by Colleen
(Edenvale, Gauteng, South Africa)

Today I had to go to the executors of Bruce's estate. I did not give any thought that the offices are in a shopping centre; as I walked in I saw all the Christmas decorations. Christmas was Bruce's favorite time of the year. It felt like I was hit by a sledge hammer, I was in denial that Christmas was around the corner. I think this year I will crawl into a hole and emerge after Christmas is over.

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Dec 05, 2010
the dreaded Christmas
by: Jules

I am just going through the motions for Christmas, what I would really like to do is go and sit on the beach at Elliott Heads, watch the tide go in and out - not see a single person that I know, but I won't do that, I will go to the lunches, cook early Christmas dinner for my family up here, fly down to Melbourne and have Christmas with my son and his family, see my friends, and family. I will keep my shell intact (I hope)
Take care

Dec 01, 2010
I'll have a blue Christmas without you...

Last year was my first Christmas without my honey. I was numb at the time, his death occurring only weeks before. I went through the motions, things that normally would be done. Yet this year, I feel ill hearing the Christmas music. I thought that I would be spared until Dec 1st before the noise started.

I even bought a walkman so that I would NOT have to listen to Christmas Music. The irony of it is, it only pics up the local station which is playing Christmas Music. I'll admit that I dread Christmas. My stocking is still hanging from last year. I refused to celebrate it then and refuse to celebrate now.

I have a 12 year old that deserves it so I will fake my way through it. But I feel no joy, only sorrow. I will remember my loves last days though I try to avoid it at all costs.

Not to be a downer, thus far I had made progress but Christmas, Birthdays, Anniversarys are sooo
hard without the one that you celebrated life with.

You are not alone we are here and always willing to listen even when we have dark days.

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