The End Of My World

by Shimon Ohana
(Jerusalem, Israel)

Almost 7 weeks ago I lost my dear mother.
She was my whole world, raising me and my 2 older sisters by her own.
I'm 35yo, not married and lived all my life with my mother who was also my best friend tho I have countless friends.
I wake up each day (after sleeping 1 hour at night) with a feeling I'm in a long nightmare that doesn't want
to end.
I still cry all the time and between the huge pain the
emptiness starts to crawl in.
I really have no idea how to live without my mother.
I can't stand the thought of not seeing her again, not laughing together, cooking every evening or watching movies at night.
She was only 60yo, it really hurts to think about how fast she passed away.
Everyone around me rushing me to end my grief, but how can I stop crying and hurting when I lost half of my soul?
I believe that time maybe will ease my pain a bit, but I also know that not all of us are strong enough to overcome the loss of our mother, Including me.

Comments for The End Of My World

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Oct 28, 2012
Thank you
by: Ron

Dear Shimon..

I accidentally came across this website last week while seeking comfort and empathy after the loss of my Mum. Your page was the first one I read and I was so touched and affected that I responded immediately (see "Only a thought away" below). I was also encouraged to start my own 'page' and I've come to thank you for giving me the incentive to express my feelings about my beautiful and gentle mother and to find an outlet for my sorrow.

You are right. No matter who or what or where we are in the world, we are all equal in the fact that every one of us was granted, without prejudice, this one special gift: our Mothers.

May you find rest and peace tonight, wherever you are... Ron.

Oct 24, 2012
TY so much for your replies
by: Shimon Ohana

I posted it indeed just a few days ago.
The pain is sharp and deep as it was 7 and a half weeks ago.
I find myself counting each day that passes by.
Every tiny thing in our apartment reminds me of her and It's killing me deep inside.
It's amazing how all of us on this site are ocean
apart and yet share the exact same heartache.
It proves there's nothing more precious in this world than our dear Mothers.

Oct 22, 2012
Only a thought away
by: Anonymous

I don't know when your comment was posted, perhaps it is a long time ago, perhaps only 7 weeks. I hope you are doing okay, Shimon. You have helped me to realize that I am not alone with this pain, and I hope you will be able to find peace and comfort in the knowledge that you were able to share in your Mum's life and in the things you were able to do together. I know that the measure of love we feel for our mothers is also the measure or our sadness and devastation when they leave us. The deeper the love, the deeper the pain. It is three weeks since my Mum left me and I am hurting very much. I never knew it was possible to feel so alone and so devastated but I know that she is near me and that the love she had for me will never-ever-ever be lost. In small moments, I see her in myself, a reflection in the mirror when I least expect it, or a word or a sentence from my mouth which reminds me of her. I see her in the things she used to love, the same things which she taught me to love: abandoned animals - stray dogs, stray cats and, especially, in the wild birds which are flying free, like she is now... We are our mothers' daughters and we will be their babies (no matter how sick or how weak they were) until the day we meet again in a new life. Be strenghtened. Find the love that you are longing for in your memories, and know that the land of memory is only a thought away. xxx.

Oct 22, 2012
You will recover
by: Faith

It took two years to finally stop daily grieving for the loss of my mother, and we were never as close as you and your mother. Someday, please believe me, you'll think of her and smile. Your memories will be happy ones, and you'll start living the life you are suppose to live. Stay strong.

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