The Greatest Shock of my Life: The Jewel of My Life is Gone

by Rona
(VA)

On Friday, October 24th, 2008, another dark chapter was added to my life. My mother died. I miss her so much it really hurts. I find my life unbearable. I eat because I have to eat. I sleep because I have to sleep. I breathe because I have to breathe. People tell me that I have to take care of myself and go on living, because I have a child. That child is a fine young man who is in college. He owes most of his success to my mother.

I had to go back to work after six weeks of maternity leave. My mother practically raised him. He went to her every day until the day he graduated from high school. The bond between them was so strong. She would tell me that there was no one in the world that she loved more than my son. He has a hard time accepting it by not coming home as frequently as he used to, because we all remind him of her and her memories. I feel so alone without them.

Now, the way she died. She had told me several times that she was tired of living. She was eighty and she was done with her mission. She was afraid of getting older and being a burden (those were her words) on us. I will never forget that dreadful day. I usually stopped by on my way to work to see her in the morning. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I tried to open the door with my set of keys, but the chain was on. I called her. No answer!

I called my sisters and they came over. We called the fire department and they came within a few minutes and broke the chain. What we were dreading had happened. There were three firemen. One went to her bedroom, checked her pulse and simply said, ”I am sorry, she had passed at least ten hours ago”. She had died in her sleep. I think we all collapsed. Why? Why? Why did she have to die this way?

That is the story of my mom’s passing. My cousin brought her ashes to us a week later. And they are sitting in a beautiful jar on my sister’s dining table.