The half that made me whole: Francis P. Holt 12/06/09

by Hope M. Holt
(Tppahannock VA)

The Half that made me whole died 12/06/09, a mere month ago. Instead of getting easier, it is getting harder. The grief overwhelms me at times, sometimes a visual reminder or a simple chore. Especially making the bed that we shared for 17 years.

I tell myself to be gratefull that we had an entire year after the surgery for an aneurysm(9/09/08) and stroke that followed. I cannot concentrate on the simplest of tasks, and feel that I must get it together to raise our 11 year old. He is resiliant I suppose, and healing.

I cannot stand noise, get startled easily, I don't care for crowded places and just want to get home. Initially numb, I yearn for that feeling. The pain feels unbearable. Sure I was going crazy, this site has helped tremendously.

My father Don O. McCauley also died this year Jan. 20/09, making me an orphan and a widow within the same year. Oh, 7 stages of grief, progress; as this pain is like nothing I have ever felt. I miss you my Love. You were the love story that made my life magic.

Hope M. Holt