The Hardest Experience I'll Have Ever Done

by Judith Giglio
(Winnetka, Ca, USA)

It's been 2 months and I want him back, my true love of 35 1/2 years. It's just awful without him. Oh, I know it was a blessing for God to take him so he no longer suffers from Parkinson's and his other illnesses but I'd take him back and care for him years longer if needed.

HE fell and fractured his skull after being diagnosed with PD. Since his fall 3 1/2 years, I was to become his arms, his walker, and caregiver for his every need. Yes, it was tough at times but I never cared about my role. It just what one does when you love someone.

He was my reason for living each day long before he became ill. HE had not worked a day since his first stroke and heart bypass 6 years after our marriage. Our roles switched as I became the worker/provider. I never felt slighted in having to take that role because I loved him so much. Some say too much.

We complimented each other and folks would say we looked so good together. AND we did.

HE was an exceptionally handsome man.

We met one night and were together every day since and married a year afterward.

Life was not the easiest being that we both had children and his ex-was still a pain in his side but I loved him more than I hated the trials.

I told him we could never divorce because I couldn't live without him knowing he was alive on earth somewhere not with me. Death would be the only way I'd do without him because I had to.

Now here I am having to do without him and it sucks and I hate it. I miss my love.

I am thankful that God allowed him to be at home, that he never had to leave our bed, never had to go to a nursing home, and that he died at home with me close by caring for him.

He told me he didn't want to die because he'd miss me so much. My response was that God would would take him and he would be so happy visiting with all his relatives, he wouldn't have time to miss me and one day he'll look around and see me too.

Life has so much more meaning when caring for someone we love.

This is the hardest thing I'll ever do.

Comments for The Hardest Experience I'll Have Ever Done

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Nov 17, 2010
Continuing Your Courage

Isn't is odd that we had the strength to take care of our Love. Battle whatever obstacles came in our way. Do anything that was necessary without really giving it much thought to our own sanity.

People called us courageous and marveled at our ability to function. Yet now that that battle is over we have a hard time functioning alone.

And this battle surviving without the one that we loved seems the hardest yet. I wanted the old Paul (before the aneurysm and stroke) or the new Paul who I had to care for and worry about for just over a year. More than anything this past year, and though stronger, I miss him soooooo much.

Hoping you strength and courage that is within you.

Nov 16, 2010
Strength ,courage, and love
by: Anonymous

Judith, know that we will always be there for you no matter what. We love you unconditionally. When you are in pain so are we. Please also know that God will absolutely take care of you every day so just rely on him when things seem so dark, because he will give you light when you need it. Your sister and brother-in-law Mari and Charlie.

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