The Heart of Me and My Twin Rosie
by Beverly Strong
(Indianola, MS USA)
My mother Rosie was my foundation, my heart and my best friend. She was born in 1936 and died January 27, 2012. My mom was a proud and independent woman. She was diagnosis with colon cancer in August of 2010. My mom had five children, four boys and one girl me. So we had our up and downs but I let her know that I love her. I’ve been with her my all my life, we went everywhere together. I did what I had to do for her. Now I’m feeling like I didn’t do enough or love enough. When it got bad the doctor wanted to put her in Hospice she and I both said NO. I told the doctor I would take her and that I did. So I went to check on her Thursday night and I knew that she was leaving me because she couldn’t see me but she could hear me. So later that night and I told her, “Mom if you want to go, go ahead and go I will be alright.” when I knew that she was worried about me. Those were the hardest word I had to say in my life and it still hurts me now. So early Friday morning at 9:09 a m my mom left me I was standing at the foot of her bed when she took her last breathe. I couldn’t cry and I just stood there like the wind had been knocked out of me. I just wanted to say even though you are gone I love you and miss you.
How can I stop beating myself up for thinking I didn’t do enough for her.