The light

by Jeanne

It's been 8 months since losing my one and only and it's Xmas season and I'm sure things will be rough. However, today as I look out and ponder on a very rainy, dark day it occurs to me that I have really come a long way emotionally and have accomplished so much physically. I know they tell us to reserve doing important decisions, etc, until a year has passed but I jumped right in within two weeks preparing and carrying out some real difficult decisions. That took my mind off of much grief. I was able to shut down our home, remodel our condo for my use, get rid of or donate tons of stuff and within two months had all that finished.

After things settled down in my new place I had some moments, no, I had a lot of moments of sadness but family and some very close friends were there for me. I got through Thanksgiving with only one healthy breakdown but all in all I did fine and my kids expected it so we got through that episode. Today I'm packed for a trip to Northern California with my daughter (who is a very young widow and knows what all this is about) to spend Christmas with my granddaughter.

We plan a girls weekend with dinners out, a trip to a golf course rain permitting, close chit chat and lighting a candle for two departed husbands. And as I sit here reflecting on all the above, I feel so much stronger and suddenly I can see that light of hope, peace, calm, new beginnings, new everything! It feels so good. I know today is a good day and maybe tomorrow will be not so good but it feels so good to feel good today that I had to share it. Merry Christmas to all.

Comments for The light

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Dec 22, 2010
Merry Christmas
by: Pat

Merry Christmas to you and your daughter. I'm hoping and praying that I will be where you are in a year from now. My husband just passed on December 3rd. The pain is still raw. He was waiting for a heart transplant and his weary body just gave out. I thank God for this web site. You sound like a brave strong lady (as does your daughter). I hope I can learn from your strength.

Dec 22, 2010
Good for you
by: Jen


Well done to you. It's great to read some positive steps forward on this site from various people and encourage people that we can do it.

I too feel I've come along way and can smile and get on in this unwanted journey..

Well done and keep going,


Dec 22, 2010
Living not just surviving


Thank you sooooo much for showing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That there is hope in the future for us all. This grief ride, the ups the downs, good/bad days seem endless. Just as we think that we have a handle on things a siren will shriek and pull us back to that day. The memories try to hinder our progress.

I know that the holidays will make things harder forcing the memories of our past come to mind with horrifying clarity.

I still want to dream of my Love and have not yet.
it has been just over a year, things are starting to get easier I am beginning to function but not truly live yet. Surviving not living.

So thank you for letting us know what is possible.
And hoping that you life continues to show the possibilities of what can be.

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