The LORD Blessed me for 28 years

by Karla
(MO/FL)

After 3 years, I've came to the conclusion something good happened out of our tragedy.
We lost our only adult child from complications of a slip & fall injury. How do you get told she's fine, she's all healed, no problem, she can fly to spend the weekend, yadda, yadda? When I picked her up, she had a case of bronchitis, on top of injury 3 months prior. She was happy to see us, her old high school buddies. She went to a concert, got in early, went to bed. She didn't know where she was, that old glazed look in her eyes, after her fall. She slept the next day. She wasn't a drinker, especially after head trauma. She went thru 3 days of torture! I didn't want to put her on that plane, but I did, she promised she'd see both dr's ASAP. I put her on her flight at 6:30pm on Monday, It was the last time I saw her alive. I talked to her on Tuesday, she wasn't right. Then she contacted me after she talked to a couple of her friends. She went to bed that Tuesday night and never woke up. I knew she had 2 more days before she had to return to work, but Mothers know! I had the worst feeling. That Tuesday was the last time I talked and text conversations with her. Thank goodness she was a reliable worker. I'd been trying for 2 days to get in touch with her. I started calling her work, was disconnected. I'd been up for 50+ hours, no sleep. Her Dad gave me a nerve pill. I'll never forget that Friday morning at 6:30am when her dad opened our bedroom door before he could get the police are downstairs, I jumped out of bed screaming bloody murder, grabbing a portrait of her, I knew it. Only The LORD knows what caused her passing, a tale of 2 states, that I feel didn't do their jobs, I'll never have closer. If I could die from a broken heart, I'd already be with her. I've learned to forgive everyone, including myself. The LORD giveth and He taketh away! I haven't had any fun or laughter in my life since the last time I saw her. It's like my spirit is gone. I know her Dad/ my hubby hurts also, but I've turned a 180 in my life. I'm saved, by The Grace of our LORD. That's what keeps me going. I can't get over this, no grandchildren, our only baby! You always think, "This wouldn't ever happen to is"....... Oh yes it can! We had everything in the world going for us. Within a few short months we've lost first of all, the most important person in our lives, then it kept on going downhill. But after our loss, there's nothing that could hurt me! I know we'll all be together one day, but it still hurts! There's nothing anyone can do for us, that is earthly. I've begged hubby to take me in for a lobotomy! Those thoughts aren't as frequent, be they roll in what's left in my mind. Thanks for listening! It's good to have a place to vent.

Comments for The LORD Blessed me for 28 years

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Jun 07, 2014
Comfort
by: Karla

First of all, thank you for the support. Also my heart goes out to your losses. I have to tell all of you this, once I took myself all off the meds, they're out of my system. But I'm physically worn out! First when I saw her in. The casket, I fainted. Then the next day when they buried her, I fell in with her mentally. The more meds, the more I grieved, as I was saying earlier, I felt I had to dig myself out of her grave. I know she's in The LORD's Hands. As I had written at first is so true, we were blessed with a precious gift from God. I'll miss her until the day I'm gone. But now my trouble is hubby. We've been married over 34 years, The LORD got my attention! In other words, I took all credit, I forgot to thank Jesus! I hit rock bottom, I thought was praying, still pray that he wakes up. I don't believe in divorce, but separation might be in order. I'm praying for God's will. Again just venting. But once I realized my baby never belonged to me. I'm was getting worried about myself grieving so long. But I gave my burdens to The LORD. as I will with the burden of hubby. You're in my prayers. Everyone, May The LORD keep you safe. Which I know He will! I guess He needs too REALLY box hubby between the ears.

Apr 26, 2014
The LORD Blessed me for 28 years
by: Doreen UK

Karla, a mother will never ever get over losing a child/adult child. You carried that child in you for 9 months and grew her to be a woman and established a bond that can never be broken. This is what hurts. That bond of separation from your child/adult child. I have 3 Adult children and could never imagine how I would cope if I lost any of my children. I wouldn't want to live another day. Just talking about it fills my heart with pain. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 2 years ago next week and this is the worst loss I have experienced. Had I not a strong belief in God and Jesus all my life I would not know how to go on in life. Just knowing I will see my husband again keeps me Hoping each day for Peace through my pain. But each day it feels like an eternity of loneliness and emptiness. I can't help but worry about my children and their safety. To lose an only child will be the worst pain ever in life.
I know God loans us our children. They belong to Him and we nurture them through life to give back to God one day for eternity. Even if we work hard and try to bring up our children for God there is no way of knowing if they will keep the Faith. Life can take us all of in different directions as with the influence of people through their lives. But to Pray over one's child is the best any parent can do. WE don't have insight in to the future. Only God does. All any parent can do is to Love their children and hold them loosely to give back to God one day if we should outlive them. I hope in time you will find the Comfort and Peace of God each day through your grief. I am sorry for your loss of a daughter.

Apr 25, 2014
Feel so alone
by: Josie

My heart goes out to you and your husband. I have 3 sons and the last which was not planned was my baby girl. I cannot say I feel what your going through, but I can say that I was very close to losing my daughter two wks after her 14th birthday if it would not have been by the grace of our Lord she went to work with me that day I worked in the Courthouse. After lunch we went into the ladies room & from that point on my world was turned upside down she started saying her head hurt then she started shaking from the pain to make it short by the time we reached the hospital & did a ct scan they took us in the quiet room & informed us she had massive bleeding in the brain & she suffered an aneurysm to say I had to be given something to calm me down because I felt she was already gone. I had a friend who came from work & was with me when I collapsed my husband asked her to please take care of me while he spoke with the drs. If it would not have been for Eva who snapped me out of it & said she is still alive we need to start praying. I thanked God for giving me this beautiful child and if he had to take her back then I thanked him for the time I had her I too am a woman of faith & after many scares he blessed me with a miracle.
After that a yr. later my beloved Mom passed away & I had 3 brothers and I lost my last brother on Mother's day last year. So I too have continued to be hit by tragedies, got divorced lost my home got sick. I feel like the Lord left me my daughter but took my whole family. What we do have is our faith & know that we will see them again. She is not gone she will forever live in your heart and in your dreams and memories. God bless you and your husband.

Apr 25, 2014
The Lord blessed me for 28 years
by: christine

God bless you and my prayers are with you. You are right, the only thing that will keep you going is God. He is always with us. Don't ever forget that. It has been 16 months since my only child went to be with the Lord. This Sunday, the 27th, will be his 40th birthday. I miss him so. He was my companion and best friend. Now there is a empty place in my heart that can only be filled with Jesus. I'm not married and like you will never have grandchildren. The Lord is my Light; my Strength; my Comfort; my Hope. Only through Him can I be made strong. He is with me always, holding my hand. For hours after my son passed I held onto my bible and read through tears and prayed. I'm not sure what I would have done if I didn't have God. We are comforted by a Savior who knows suffering, and we honor Him when we pass His comfort on to still others. 2 Corinthians 1:4. Keep your faith strong and never turn your back on God, He is always there for us. Our time will come when God says our work is done. Then we will be reunited with our children. When God blessed us with our children He did not let us know how long they would be with us. I do thank Him everyday for the time I had with my son, and the many blessings and memories I have. There are times along life's journey that can test the spirit deeply, and though this is one of those times, may you never stop believing that your faith, your inner strength, and the power of God's love will carry you through. Use the beautiful memories to help you get through. God bless. Let the light of God shine on you.

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