This is hard it's all hard everything.... I lost m dad when I was 3 and it caught up to me when I was 5 it sucked my mom got re-married to a guy named Matt all I wanted was a dad I called him dad right away. Then it started catching up to him he was mentally ill I didn't see him or say anything to him for 3 years. The last thing I said to him was in 5 min and I said I love you then the next Friday I ran home so happy then I saw cars I ran faster thinking something exciting was going on but it turned out he had died that afternoon in a car accident the same way I had lost my real dad. I hate myself for all of Ito feel like it was my fault. I don't have much friends really and then school came... And all people had to talk about was dads and car accidents and that's all. Lost most of my friends. Don't like hanging out with people as much as I used to I am losing my best friend this year which sucks but I have to deal with it. I hate knowing that when I get married my dad won't be there and that's not cool... But I can't do anything about it and I don't think I can do this the rest of my life... I can't anymore
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