The Loss of Laughter

by Mary
(Ocean, NJ)

It is almost five months since my husband of over 40 years passed away. I am still in shock. It has been a time of great loneliness. Gene was such a wonderful, generous and caring person. He had such a great sense of humor and made me laugh everyday. Now without him I just feel so alone. I have a wonderful family and great friends, but the laughter is gone from my life. There are days when I just can't believe that he is gone. At times I just think he is out for the day, then reality hits and I know that I am alone. People ask me how I am doing. Well,I say, what can I do, I have no choice, I guess I have to carve out some type of life alone. What do you do at 64 years old? All my friends still have their partners and now I am a widow (I hate that word). My love is gone and the laughter has stopped. Will I every laugh again, I hope so, but I know life will never be the same, I know I have been blessed to have had my Gene for over 40 years, I just find this journey to be so difficult. I am trying to take one day at a time and I pray the God will bring me peace of mind and strength to get through the tough times. I do know that my Gene is in heaven making the angels laugh. Gene, I love and miss you so much, I miss our lives together. With faith I know that some day we will be together again. You are always in my heart.

Comments for The Loss of Laughter

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Apr 30, 2011
Love and laughter
by: Judy


I have been widowed for about a year and a half. Just the other day I was driving home from work and I had a crazy thought pass through my mind that Barry was at the hospital and I was going to get him and we would go home together. I believe most widows have these thoughts and that they are just a part of coming to terms with your loss. As fast as that thought came, reality followed and I just sighed and drove on. But I still had it at this late date.

Grief is the hardest experience I've ever had. It took many months for laughter to come back into my existence and I surprised myself when it happened but it will come. Just focus on the day before you and eventually small things will catch your attention-a lovely sunrise, something my cat did, seeing a dolphin one morning heading down the river, the egrets building their messy nests. I went almost a whole year without noticing these things but eventually one or the other brought a smile to me and once the smiles come, the laughter can follow.

We are here for you anytime.


Apr 28, 2011
It will return...

You Will laugh again one day. It will sound foreign to your ears. You may even turn around looking for where the sound came from. And when you realise it was you making the sound you'll sigh.

This is the beginning of taking your life back. Do not look so far in the future it is way too overwhelming. Try to appreciate the small minute things that make you just a little happy.

It is looking for the little joys that make it possible to get through the day. A nice sunset, looking for the shapes in clouds. Beginning to take pride in yourself where you did not give a damn earlier. These all all little baby steps and some of them milestones.

Being a year and a half (almost) into grief I would tell the five monthers even the 9 monthers to do what you want and can do. Do not push grief or it will push right back.

At first I could not go out into the garage (his space) without hyperventilating and having my heart race. Later with the help of my brothers I was cleaning out Halloween stuff that I knew I would never use again.(It was "Our" holiday and I refuse to celebrate it with the same zeal again)

Grief makes you do the oddest things that you never thought possible. I disliked Christmas and refused to celebrate it since Paul died Dec 6th 2009. Yet bought all this Christmas stuff on sale. Go figure. Keep reading grief is the strangest ride you will ever survive.

And being 63? So what?!! there is so much out there for you to enjoy, when your ready. And don't let any one tell you when you grieving should be over.

Apr 28, 2011
by: Zoe

It has been a year and a month since I lost John. I can tell you at five and six months, it seems much harder. In the beginning there is a numbness that goes with the pain, I do not honestly believe any of us could survive if it were not for that numbness. At five and six months the numbness starts to wear off, we are no longer just "taking care of arrangements" now we are looking down a very long highway of life, one that we no longer recognize. Until we lose our beloved we have an idea of how things will go, how we think they will go that is, but then this happens, and suddenly all we envisioned is gone, and there is no real map or guide for us to follow.

For each of us grief is different. I will tell you that you will laugh again. It will catch you off guard, but it will happen. You will see a flower or smell a scent with will make you feel good. Not now, but you will. I was 52 when I lost John, I would have never believed I would even be able to listen to the radio again. But I do, I even laugh. Maybe not with the same depth as before, but I am not the same as before. Before I was John's now I am widow.

Just know we are always here for you, and we do understand and care.
and as always
one breath, one step, one day at a time.

Apr 28, 2011
Loss of laughter
by: Colleen

Bruce has been gone just over five months. I am also wondering where all the laughter is gone and will I ever be able to laugh again. It is a hard and lonely life. I try and avoid the word widow I feel at the age of 46 I am too young to be a widow, I still wear my wedding rings and pretend that Bruce will be home soon (if only).

Take it one day at a time I am sure our time will come again. God will help us all through this long hard and lonely road that we must travel. My prayers go out to you and all on this site.

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