The Loss of Laughter
It is almost five months since my husband of over 40 years passed away. I am still in shock. It has been a time of great loneliness. Gene was such a wonderful, generous and caring person. He had such a great sense of humor and made me laugh everyday. Now without him I just feel so alone. I have a wonderful family and great friends, but the laughter is gone from my life. There are days when I just can't believe that he is gone. At times I just think he is out for the day, then reality hits and I know that I am alone. People ask me how I am doing. Well,I say, what can I do, I have no choice, I guess I have to carve out some type of life alone. What do you do at 64 years old? All my friends still have their partners and now I am a widow (I hate that word). My love is gone and the laughter has stopped. Will I every laugh again, I hope so, but I know life will never be the same, I know I have been blessed to have had my Gene for over 40 years, I just find this journey to be so difficult. I am trying to take one day at a time and I pray the God will bring me peace of mind and strength to get through the tough times. I do know that my Gene is in heaven making the angels laugh. Gene, I love and miss you so much, I miss our lives together. With faith I know that some day we will be together again. You are always in my heart.