The loss of my 18 year old son Zach
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My son took his life in December 2011. It is so hard to handle this. He could of done so much with his life. No one saw this coming. Lots of kids thought he was "cool". Lots of girls had crushes on him. He was that 18 year old senior who rode his motorcycle to school each day. He worked as a runner at Gators and flirted with all the girls that worked there. It just doesn't make any sense.
I miss him so much. Yes, he was angry because his life had changed dramatically since my husband and I had separated. Yes, he was taking his senior year over again. He was working a lot. His social life wasn't as busy as had been in the past. He was skipping school again, He was having problems sleeping. He ate too much junk food and too much diet soda. He didn't have a girlfriend. Was he happy that he had joined the Navy. He knew he had to graduate high school to go into the Navy. Did he feel he had missed too much school and couldn't get back on track? Could it be my fault or his fathers? It was probably a bunch of reasons.
If only he could see the future. If he knew about all the wonderful things people said and wrote about him after he passed away. How many of his peers cried for him. How many parents became worried about their teenagers behavior.
He was such a easy baby, Such a well behaved toddler. Such a cute kid. A wonderful soccer player. He could eat and eat and still stayed slim. He was handsome, he was bright with a witty personality. He had so much more going for him then so many teenagers. It was such a loss to so many. He was his sisters best friend how could he do this to all of us who loved him????