The loss of my 18 year old son Zach

Click on each photo to enlarge.

My son took his life in December 2011. It is so hard to handle this. He could of done so much with his life. No one saw this coming. Lots of kids thought he was "cool". Lots of girls had crushes on him. He was that 18 year old senior who rode his motorcycle to school each day. He worked as a runner at Gators and flirted with all the girls that worked there. It just doesn't make any sense.

I miss him so much. Yes, he was angry because his life had changed dramatically since my husband and I had separated. Yes, he was taking his senior year over again. He was working a lot. His social life wasn't as busy as had been in the past. He was skipping school again, He was having problems sleeping. He ate too much junk food and too much diet soda. He didn't have a girlfriend. Was he happy that he had joined the Navy. He knew he had to graduate high school to go into the Navy. Did he feel he had missed too much school and couldn't get back on track? Could it be my fault or his fathers? It was probably a bunch of reasons.

If only he could see the future. If he knew about all the wonderful things people said and wrote about him after he passed away. How many of his peers cried for him. How many parents became worried about their teenagers behavior.

He was such a easy baby, Such a well behaved toddler. Such a cute kid. A wonderful soccer player. He could eat and eat and still stayed slim. He was handsome, he was bright with a witty personality. He had so much more going for him then so many teenagers. It was such a loss to so many. He was his sisters best friend how could he do this to all of us who loved him????

Comments for The loss of my 18 year old son Zach

Click here to add your own comments

Apr 10, 2012
god bless you
by: Cathy

HI you have such a handsome son , i dont know why some children don't try to understand thier parents a little. That guilt must be eating you up what if i had understood him a little better, try not to be too hard on yourself, you cannot change the past. take care.

Apr 09, 2012
His Pain
by: Rose L

You may never have those answers, because you may never know his pain.
I lost a daughter last year. I sometimes feel guilt for not loving her enough when she was here. I didn't tell her I loved her enough. I didn't spend enough time with her. I shoulda, coulda, woulda..
But I didn't..

Blessings and peace,

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Baby/Child.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!