The Loss of My Dad
I'm only a fifteen year old girl. My dad and I had a really rough relationship. My parents were separated and he was harsh with me so I kind of tried to avoid him at all times. He was an alcoholic ; I just didn't think it was bad to a point where he would call us one day asking us to take him to the hospital. The day he entered we all started to feel bad and sympathy we stayed beside him for almost three months in a hospital with him. His liver was failing and that started to affect his kidney which also started to fail. The doctors were telling us he wasn't going to survive, we stayed positive. He was transferred to another hospital with better doctors. At the previous hospital he had varices bleeding so he had to have his throat stitched up. Then the hospital after that wanted to put an endoscope down his throat and didn't realize it had been stitched before. I was the only one who spent the last day with him. We talked and talked and I've never felt closer to him. Every time he felt uncomfortable he would look to me not the doctors and asked for my hand for support. Before they took him to the endoscope process he hugged me and said "I'm dying" That was the last time I saw him. I had a hysteria when I found out he was not going to survive. The doctors had put the endoscope down his throat and the stitches from before got unhooked and the doctors weren't able to stop the bleeding. I love him very much. It's been almost two months and my grief feels worse than the day he passed away. I saw him dead in front of me and never felt protected even when he was hugging me. To this day I blame myself for praying he dies once from frustration. I can't get over it.