The Loss of My Younger Brother James Robert Lay

by Laura
(Walton, KY USA)

One of the worse days of my life begin early on the morning of October 19, 2010, my telephone woke me up with a call from my sister-in-law telling me that my brother was dead. Since they were separated I did not get much information from her, all I knew was that my 48 year old brother was found by two of his co-workers who were suppose to pick him up for work. I was not able to reach anyone at first, my husband and both my sons were already at work. Finally I reached my husband by after leaving him a hysterical voice mail telling him the news I had received. We spent most of the morning trying to find out where my brother was taken and what had happened. It was not until late in the afternoon that we found that they had taken him to the medical examiner's office in a completely different county than he lived or from the nearest hospital from his home. I was told that an autopsy had to be done since he was found at home alone and they had no idea what had caused his death. At one time,I was a medical transcriptist and after typing several autopsy reports all the things they were going to do to him broke my heart. I was already being treating for depression and by the day of the funeral, I was completely numb, the last memory I have of my brother was walking up to his casket to say my last goodbye and seeing a light pink fluid running down the side of his face. This has haunted me for the last two years, I have not been able to get this out of my mind no matter how hard I have tried. We did find out that he had a blood vessel in his brain the broke and he died instantly, that is the one thing I am thankful for. My mother passed away 27 years ago at the age of 48 from cardiac arrest, I found her at home. I can still see her as plain as day. It breaks my heart to know that they both died alone.
I am still being treated for chronic depression there have been times when I could not even leave my room or my home. I am finally beginning to get out some because of my kids and grandkids. If anyone has suggestions on where to go from here please feel free to write me. I would appreciate any answers or comments. Thank you for letting me write my story, it doesn't take away my pain but at least I am able to get most of it out.

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Aug 31, 2012
The Loss of My Younger Brother James Robert Lay
by: Doreen U.K.

My Dear Laura I am so sorry for your loss of your brother Robert James. What a tragedy. It is a horrible place to be for anyone when they lose someone special from their lives. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 4 months ago from cancer. This was the worst day of my life. My heart will never stop aching. I suffered depression for almost 40yrs. I then went into counselling and got my life back. But this is got to be the worst experience of my life losing my beloved Steve. My heart is broken every day. Depressiond does make one not feel like doing anything, or going anywhere, or just to go on each day is a struggle. Life becomes a heavy burden. You are probably very ready to branch out of your home and start living again. This may start off slowly so make sure the grandkids don't rush you or make you do more than you can manage. Just taking this first step is good. Pace yourself. When depression leaves us it feels as if someone turned the light on inside of us. It is a good feeling. I hope the light gets turned on inside you and that it stays bright for years to come and that you too get your life back. You will move forward. If your depression gets worse try counselling. If you get the right counsellor you will find yourself in a better place from depression. Grief is so very painfull. but it won't last forever.

Aug 31, 2012
Rest for the Weary
by: Anonymous

They didn't die alone. Two angels were waiting to escort them to Heaven. If you focus on how amazing that moment was for them, maybe it will help ease the pain of what you had to witness with respect to the shells that once housed their beautiful souls.

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