**The loss of two of the most important people of my life** My Soul Mate and Best friend only 29 years old and my Mother 45 years old.

by By Ashley
(Belle Vernon, Pa)

My name is Ashley I am 30 years old and I lost two of the most important people in my life.
My boyfriend of 8 years was killed in a tragic work accident on July 17, 2012. He was working on the highway as a crane operator trying to remove a pole from the road that someone had hit first and a truck came on the side of the road and hit the broken pole and the pole came up hitting him in head killing him instantly. I love him so much. We did everything together we were best friends. I feel like no one knows what I am going through and I feel completely alone. He was a great man he was hard working, caring, and would do anything for anyone. He was very outgoing and always moving here loved to ride dirt bikes, quads and motorcycles. He loved the outdoors fishing, camping, and canoeing. We didn’t live together he was out of town a lot for work so we didn’t think there was any rush into moving together. I feel like I have lost my other half. I have so many mixed emotions I go from being so sad I can’t stop crying for hours to being so angry at god for taking him away and at my family because they say I need to talk about it and no one understands and sometime I just can’t talk about it.

I know all of these emotions are normal because I had to go through this not once but twice 8 years ago, I was 21, and my mother had died in a car accident on December 11, 2005. A woman was driving a ford 150 and hit black ice did a 360⁰ sideswiped a jeep then hitting my mom and sister head on. It killed my mom instantly. My sister had many broken bones but was ok.Like my boyfriend she was a great person. She fought colon cancer for 10 year had diabetes and almost died two times from congested heart failure and pneumonia and still after all that always manage to laugh. She was easy going and very outspoken and didn’t care what people thought about her she was the best mother in the world.
When my mother died people would away tell me “time heals” and “with time it gets easier” well back then I just wanted to punch them in the face and tell them off. I thought I was never going to fell right, good or happy but over time it did get easier. It has only been a month since my boyfriend died and I’m really hurting right now, but I have to keep telling myself it does get easier. I know I am always going to miss the both of them and I am always going to have good day and bad days.
I came to the website in hopes of finding someone that is going through the same thing and someone I can talk to about everything I am feeling. I also hope I can help anyone that is hurting as bad as I am. Thank you for reading my story.

In Loving Memory of Robin 45 years old (Mother) and Allan 29 years old (Boyfriend and best friend)

Comments for **The loss of two of the most important people of my life** My Soul Mate and Best friend only 29 years old and my Mother 45 years old.

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Aug 24, 2012
Your not alone
by: Kalisha

Hi Ashley! I'm sorry about your lost of your boyfriend and your mother. Your not alone because I feel the same as you. Everything that your story tells about your boyfriend I feel like it mirrors my life. I live in Pennsylvania as well and I'm 30 yrs old also. I lost my boyfriend of 7 years suddenly one day he's here the next day he's gone. I feel like the other half of me is gone. He was young like your boyfriend only 31. I thought we had so much time but we didnt... I'm angry too. I try not to be but at times I can't help it. It's not fair. I feel so alone . It's been 4 months on 8/22/12 and I have no idea how I'm still here hanging on with all this hurt... I feel like my future is gone because I lost the person I loved and who knew me better than anyone inside and out. Reading your story makes me feel close to you. So thank you for that.. You may not feel strong but you are. Not only did you loose 1 person you loved in life you lost 2 people. If ever you need to talk more please feel
free to contact me my email is kdillette@gmail.com. Please take care and thank you because I don't feel so alone in this world myself.

Aug 21, 2012
Lost my mother 45yrs. and boyfriend 29yrs.
by: Doreen U.K.

Ashley you are not Alone. I am sorry for your loss of your Mother Robin and your boyfriend Allan at 29yrs. You have lost 2 of the most significant people in your life. A Mother and your future Life Partner. Grief is a very long and painfull journey for all of us. For me it has only been 14 weeks I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer. It is a very lonely place to be. Being angry at God for taking your boyfriend and crying all the time is NORMAL. this is how Grief is expressed. Sometimes these feelings will feel as if they will go on forever. there is no time limit for them to stop. You will know when you start to feel less pain. if you find it hard to talk to the people around you. You can get good support from talking to a grief counsellor who is trained to help in this area.
You can also keep a journal and write in this how you feel and express all your thoughts and feelings. Even space for writing letters to your lost loved ones. You will have these memories forever. You structure how your journal will work for you. If you need more support you can email me doreenelkington@aol.com

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