The loss off my beautiful grandaughter Millie May

by Anne
(Merseyside)

I LOST MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDAUGHTER 4 MONTHS AGO, AGED 5 DAYS OLD. I WENT INTO THE LABOUR WARD WITH MY DAUGHTER AND HER PARTNER AND AFTER 40 HOURS OF WATCHING MY DAUGHTER SUFFER THE MOST AWFUL PAIN, SHE FINALLY GAVE BIRTH TO MILLIE MAY, WEIGHING 7LB 6OZ. SHE HAD A MOP OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLACK HAIR I HAVE EVER SEEN ON A BABY.

TWO DAYS LATER WE BOUGHT HER HOME TO OUR HOUSE, FILLED WITH SO MUCH PRIDE AND HAPPINESS. I FELT THE LUCKEST GRANDMOTHER ALIVE THAT MY DAUGHTER HAD GIVEN BIRTH TO SUCH A BEAUTIFUL BABY.

SADLY AFTER ONE DAY AT HOME WITH US SHE STARTED TO SHOW SIGNS OF BEING UNWELL AND WAS ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL. i CAN ONLY DESCRIBE THE NEXT 3 DAYS AS A HAZY BLUR. WE ALL HOPED AND PRAYED FOR A MIRACLE BUT IT WAS NOT TO BE.

Sadly, the decsion was made to switch off the life surpport machine. My daughter and her partner held Millie May in their arms as she passed away 45 mins later.

I cannot begin to express how I feel, I just keep asking why. Why did she have to die, why was she born? None of it makes any sense anymore. I can't walk past a pram or baby without feeling so jealous and resentful. These feelings don't feel real. I don't know how to comfort my daughter. I dont know what to say as I don't understand it myself. Will it ever get better for any of us?

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Oct 30, 2009
Why did it happen?
by: Jan

After losing my two youngest sons -who were profoundly brain damaged from birth -only eleven months apart, (one was 7, the other 6 yrs old), I ask myself the very same question many, many times. After many years of soul searching and questioning I have discovered that we each must find the answers within ourselves. (I know that is hard!)

But just think--you and your daughter and her partner were given an exquisite gift--one that you will hold dear to your hearts for the rest of your lives. Not all gifts are given for a lifetime - but this gift will change who you are, from now on!

It is up to the three of you to make the choice to be thankful for that little bit of time you spent with a precious angel - and allow time to show you why she came....or you can make the choice to let the experience make you bitter-not better. TIME does soften the edges...and allows
the beauty of your precious baby's gift to shine through.

I hope this helps you in your journey of understanding.


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