The Love I never had....
I really can't explain why I feel such a loss. Whether it's anger for never seeing the person for who they really were, or the hurt they inflicted on my kids and I, or the fact that I was in love all by myself.
A 15 year relationship....she was cheating from day one, and I never knew. Six years in, she had a breakdown because I found out about the affairs. Because of my kids, I tried harder thinking it was my fault. I listened to her lies that it was my fault. For the next 8 years she waltzed back in forth in our lives, until we all, had enough. She left one day,then called the next, that she made a mistake running, and wanted to come back, but none of us wanted to speak to her, and my kids did not want her hack in the home. Then called that she was getting married, within 30 days of leaving.
Three weeks later, the texts and phone messages started. "I want to come home". "I thought getting married would be the best thing, I was wrong". As good as it felt knowing she was an idiot, I was a bigger idiot for entertaining the thought. She texts the kids, it's been 12 days since she last sent them anything. Her friend called to tell me she already cheated on the new husband, yet I still miss something I never had. And it seems the pain, will never stop.