The love of my life and best friend
(Boise, Idaho )
On January 9 2014 my husband Dennis passed away. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in May 2013. He completed 6 rounds of Chemo and tolerated that had two more rounds of chemo and started to take a turn for the worse, then the pain, confusion started in. In order to help with the pain and shrink the tumors radiation was started. Hospice came to the house on January 8, and he passed the next morning at 8:26 am. I held him during the night and told him all was okay, we were okay. We were married for 36 years, and have 4 grown daughters and 3 grand daughters, the youngest born on Dec 22, 2014. One of the last pictures I have of him, is of him holding the new grand daughter. I miss him so terribly, the tears never stop. I feel cold all the time sleep comes around 2 am, I went back to my part time job last week. While at work I am some what better, but then I come home to an empty house. I am not in a support group yet, but should have that information this week.
A part of me is gone and I know my life will never be the same. My world was my husband and family. I have been told that time will help ease this unbearable pain, and the deafening silence of the house. I can't even think of Valentine's Day next week. We never had Valentine's day, but Valentine's week. I so wish I would dream about him, our daughters have, but I haven't. Why? just want to know he is okay, and hold him. At times I can't believe this has happened-it seems like a horrible dream that I can't awaken from. Our oldest daughter is in a nursing home and also on hospice care, as she is in the late stage of anorexia.