The love of my life

by Tiffany

My fiancé and I have been together since I was 15. I am 24 now. I lost him on 4th of July last year in a horrible car wreck. We have a 4 year old son. We had been at a friends lake all day. It was getting late so I decided to take our son and head home. My fiancé was going to stay a little longer and then meet us at home. It wasn't 20 minutes after I got home and got our son in the bed that I received the most horrible phone call of my life. It was his mother and all she could say was he had been in a horrible accident and was being rushed tot he hospital. On the way to the hospital I found out that they were having trouble keeping him breathing. That's when I went numb. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything. I knew something was horribly wrong when we got to the hospital before the ambulance. Once they got there we were pulled into a room where they asked us questions and to describe what he looked like. The nurse looked at us and said "the doctor is on the way in and he can explain and answer your questions". I wont go any further than that because I try to blur the rest out. But the whole way back to our house all I could think about was our poor little boy. He was only 3 and couldn't understand. He still doesn't. Now I am trying to get back on my feet and figure out how to get a house on my own so my son and I can try to be happy again. I still don't sleep well at night and often think I am in a horrible dream and just waiting on him to come home.

Comments for The love of my life

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Jul 07, 2013
loss of husband
by: sharon

I too have lost my husband May 22,2013. It hasn't been very long, but it was very sudden, a heart attack. He kissed me goodbye at 6:30 that am and I got the call about 10:00 am that he was being rushed to the hospital with a massive heart attack. I knew when my son and I got there by the way the nurses were putting us off about going in to be with him that he had already passed away. I still can't believe it has happened. We had a wonderful, happy 23 yrs and I wanted so many more with him. He was the love of my life and to go on without him seems impossible. Some nights I toss and turn all night with the awful feeling he is still here and realizing in horror that he is not. We had such a full life with our children and grandchildren, but most of all with each other. I don't know if
I will every get over this, nothing will ever seem "normal" to me again.

Jun 29, 2013
the love of my life
by: silver

I can't imagine the pain of an awful car wreck.However,I do understand the pain you fee about your love leaving.My husband died May,2011 and I still occasionally find my self thinking,"He's really gone.He's really not coming back."Last yr was the hardest for me.Everyone grieves at their own speed and in their own way.This site has been a saving grace for me.I have no family close.My friend,sister,mother,and father that lived close are all gone until I see them again in heaven.My children are grown and 2 of them live in other states.The other two work full time and I rarely see them.I don't work anymore(retired)so I don' have much interaction.This will probably be your saving grace.You have a child who requires you to be there,and I'm assuming you have to go to work also.Getting out is the best medicine.I am finally getting out some and have begun walking again.I also write poetry and that helps.Please believe me this is not an easy road.I was blessed with 33 yrs of time with my soul mate but I feel it is how you love not so much how long you love.Your love that is good and right is so special.You have wonderful memories to take out and relive.You can talk to others about the wonderful yrs you had and you can come here and get support from the rest of us who know how you feel.My darling husband used to say,"It never goes away but you get to where you can handle it easier." GOD give you strength and peace.I'll remember you in my prayers.

Jun 29, 2013
The love of my life
by: Doreen U.K.

Tiffany I am sorry for your loss of your fiancé to a tragic car accident that claimed his life. You are so young to lose someone at the early stage in your life with a young child.
I lost the love of my life, husband of 44yrs. 14 months ago from a 3yr. battle with cancer. I still feel my loss deeply. I still feel the strangeness of a life now changed forever. Having to struggle through life with our grief, emotions, feelings, and financial difficulties of just trying to enjoy a simple life with each other. Gone forever.
I still feel a bit disoriented with grief. I think he is going to come back through that door as if he had never left. Worse because he travelled a lot in his job all over our country and the world so I was used to him being away whilst I got busy rearing the children. I get moments when I feel like saying, "Steve you have been gone too long now, I need to see you." " I am forgetting what you look like and how you talked and expressed yourself." I need to remember this. I guess you must feel this way also and wonder how you will get through this. The most amazing benefit to you is your SON. Children have a way of just making it better. They say the most lovely things at just the right time and become an immense comfort. My children are all grown and so I don't have this comfort. But I do remember all those times my husband was working away and I felt lonely and how much comfort having my children were.
Just don't limit your life now. When you have grieved your loss. When the time is right restructure your life and put new people in it that will help you enjoy life again and allow you to have a future. Best wishes.

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