The love of my life

by MaryAnn Gibbs
(Fresno, Ca)

My love of my life died just 3 weeks ago. It does not feel real. He left the house with his best friend on a Sunday morning to fix his mom's clogged kitchen sink. We kissed goodby and he said he would be home soon. A few hours later I got a call from his friend that he was taken to the hospital. When I got there he was gone. I was told he had a massive heart attack. I just held him in my arms. My family arrived to the hospital shortly before the emergency room nurses told us we had to go because they needed to take him to the morgue. I loved him so. I do not know how I will get through this.

Comments for The love of my life

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Nov 29, 2013
the love of my life
by: June

So sorry MaryAnne, it is a hard road to go down and most times you really don't know how you will ever get through it.
It's been 20 months since my Mike passed away. I miss him more today than yesterday. We were married for 42 years.
Somehow, someway the days do go by and I just live hour to hour/day to day. Writing a journal is great advice.
I don't know the secret to getting by but what has helped me, to a point, is helping others and getting involved in things you like. I was already involved in volunteering, an exercise class, ladies group, etc. before Mike passed, so this has kept my life somewhat on an even keel.
I can understand how we would just like to join them but this would not be fair to the rest of the family and especially my dog and cat.
So, for now my only hope is that one day I will be Together Again with Mike.
This website is a godsend and has helped me through the past 20 months. Some great advice from some very loving people on here.
Thinking of you and all others on this journey.

Nov 27, 2013
too sad to endure
by: Anonymous

My heart sinks to read what happened to you. my angel was taken from me this year. you and I now begin our living nightmare. I hope we can find some peace and solace.

Nov 23, 2013
The love of my life
by: Doreen UK

Mary Anne I am so sorry for your loss of the man you loved. Nothing can ever prepare us for the worst loss ever in our life. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 18 months ago to lung cancer and I watched him die slowly over a period of 3yrs.39days. this undoubtedly is the worst experience of my life. We go on each day hoping that life will treat us good, and when we lose our loved one we do wonder how we will go on in life. I lost my motivation and never got off the couch for 6 months. I could do nothing. I then decided to nurture myself back from my loss and I did as many good things for myself each day. I also learned on this site to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. I am still 18 months later only able to take ONE DAY AT A TIME. I can't plan the next day. I have to wait till it arrives. I pace myself with jobs I have to do. You have been bereft for only 3 weeks and this will be the worst part of the grief journey. Don't look beyond today. Take each day as it comes. You will heal slowly. Cry as much as you need to as this is the largest part of grief. You will feel better after each spell of crying. You will get stronger in time, but this is the reality of grief and what it does to us. May God comfort you in your grief and give you His Peace.

Nov 22, 2013
Your grief
by: Lawrence

Mary Ann
As Judith in California said so movingly you are starting on the hardest journey of your life and you will never feel as bad as you do now, the pain is overwhelming and the heartache feels it will never go.
All I can suggest is that you cry, cry and cry, it is nature’s way of easing the agony of your devastating loss.
We on this web site have been all through it and suffered losing the one person we loved more than life itself and we know the torment you are feeling.
I am in the eleventh month of my own nightmare losing a wonderful cherished wife after spending nearly all our lives together from early teenagers to old age, she died in the blink of an eye almost in my arms, and I tell you frankly it is hell, but it does get easier as the days pass, although I don’t expect you to believe me..
I am a musician and have just played “SEPTEMBER SONG” on the organ, big mistake, it was one of her favorites,( there is no way I could sing the words), it reduced me to tears as almost anything can, seeing a couple kissing or even just holding hands makes my eyes brim over.
Like me, you were so lucky to have found such deep love and I’m sure you thank God for it, but no matter how long you were together it is never long enough, such is life.
You are in all our prayers.

Nov 21, 2013
Mary Ann
by: Judith in California

Dear Mary Ann, offering my deepest sympathies for the loss of your love. You have begun the hardest journey of your life and there are no words anyone can offer that will ease the pain. Each one of us have been in your exact same spot and I am here to tell you it will, one breath, one minute, one day at a time become bearable. But you must grieve and be strong at the ssme time. Please remember that God will see you through this along with the support of family and friends.

Please begin to journal your feelings every day for at least a year. Write to your love and say all the things you are feeling. This process has helped many.

Please read the post here in the lost spouse section to help you see where your journey will take you. Time is your best friend now. And only you will know how long it will take.

It's been 3 years and 3 months for me and while I still miss and love him I am doing better.
God bless you on this most difficult journey ad may you find peace and acceptance .

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