the love of my life

by terry jackson
(white cloud mi, usa)

hi, my name is terry.I lost my wife of 33 years on nov 20,2012.she had crps,which is a pain disorder.we were married on nov 19 1979.we meet in italy i was in the airforce at the time.we had good years and bad, as do most couples.more good than bad thank god.the last 2 years of her life were hell for her.she was always in pain,the doctors could not do much for her.they just gave her pill after pill,and most of them did not seam to work.but she would still take them.a month ago we lost our dog china,she was a shi tzu .she was 8 years old,maybe that was the last straw for my wife,she really loved that dog.we have 2 kids,a son and a daughter.I fell i have to be strong for them,but its very hard to son is having a very hard time with this,so am i but life goes on.there is one thing about this that i am having a hard time with,the fn home wants there money up front before they will release her ashes to wernt poor but we did not have that kind of money just sitting around,but i will get some how.anywayits only been two days and it really hurts but what does not kill us only makes us stronger,i hope.well thanks for listening

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Nov 25, 2012
Not alone
by: Janet

Terry I am so sorry about the loss of your wife. My husband of 20 years died suddenly in an accident on the 8th November 2012. We are English, but we live in Spain. The FH won't let me have the death certificate until I pay the bill for the cremation, which is just over € 4000 (around $5200) I have had to borrow the money from my mum, as I don't have that kind of money lying around. He died exactly one month before my son's 18th birthday and we also have a 14 year old daughter. Like you, I'm trying to stay strong for their sake, but the pain is at times physical. I keep going for walks and sobbing quietly to myself. After a lot of initial support from neighbours, friends and family, already I've been abandoned to my fate. I wish you well. It helps to know I'm not alone.

Nov 23, 2012
the love of my life
by: Doreen U.K.

Terry I am sorry for your loss of your wife of 33yrs. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 6 months ago and it hurts like Hell. We are not meant to be strong. We are meant to Grieve. I know you have 2 children that need your support. but don't neglect yourself and be strong for everyone else.
See a grief counsellor if you need to. this is not a bad thing to do. these are skilled people trained to support in areas of loss and grief. Some people get stuck in grief and can't move forward and if this is prolonged it will affect ones' life. Your son who is having a hard time will be able to move forward better with support and skilled help.
Sad to say funerals are expensive and the money has to be paid in advance.
One graveyard may be pulled down for the airport so I didn't use this. If I go out of state which I did I have to pay more money. There were no more grave plots so I had to purchase a burial chamber. It was cheaper for 2 people so I will use this with my husband and so had to pay for this now. To bury my husband it cost me $26,000 Because I live in England this is £10,300. I now have to pay for the Memorial (the memorial stone with all the messages and writing. This is a further £850 ($1,700). When I die my grave is paid for but my family will have to pay for the funeral and Internment fee for me to have the grave opened for me to be put in. this today is £495 but will go up with the years. Then the funeral will cost over £4,000. this is a business. WE all need this service. WE are in debt most of our life and even when we die. some people have a home and have to sell this and buy a smaller home so they can afford a burial. It is so much stress. It is bad enough grieving over our loss and we have further grief trying to find the money to bury our loved ones. I am fortunate to have a father that helps all his children out with a contribution of money when they need. It has to be shared by all my fathers 5 girls and one boy so we get some of the cost and find the rest. This is a blessing. WE will all struggle in life. But to die. It is most expensive. May God help us all in the way we need this or we won't survive to tell the story of his mercy and Love to us and His Provision.

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