The most beautiful man to walk the earth, my big brother
I am 24 years old, My brother died march 29th 2014. He was murdered in his home. A little bit about my life, My big brother was the oldest of 7 children, all from the same parents- my parents are divorced since 2012 but the 7 of us kids have always stuck together, lived close, (except my oldest brother) and we have always been linked to an unbreakable chain. My brother could play the guitar like you wouldn't believe. Most people in this town say he's the best they've heard, he couldn't read music but he could listen to a song and play it while he was still listening to it. He sang too- His fingers would just dance along the strings of the guitar like that's why God gave him fingers. He was a hippie, haha- always smiling always making you feel good about yourself- I try to think back and not once have I ever heard him say 1 bad thing about 1 person, not once. He always had energy always bouncin around and always had a guitar, and my huge family would make him center of attention because he didn't live in the same town as the rest of us so when he would come home for christmas or a holiday he would perform for us all, that was the best part of my holidays, and I will never hear his music again. My big brother was like a girl, very emotional, very intuitive, and sooo full of life it was insane! haha- anytime he called me he would say "oh livin life to the fullest sis!" I was like "who does that" haha- A quote to sum my brother up is "Forget not, that the earth delight's to feel your barefeet, And the winds long to play with your hair" He loved his brothers and sisters. We were his life, he called almost everyday, ALL OF US and he always wanted to just talk. I regret not talking more. My mom doesn't exsist since this happened. My dad is our rock. We don't know the full story of why this happened but money is a part of it- He lived in a bad neighborhood. I guess my biggest issue is the chain that all 7 of us kids had is broken, somethings missing, somethings gone, and i feel an emptiness that eats at me every single day of my life, and there is no justice as of right now, there is a murderer living his life, his pathetic, useless, life. While my brother is buried in the dirt. He can't breathe air like i do, he can't have a tomorrow, I can't hug him or kiss him or tell him that i love him and im sorry i didn't talk to you on the phone longer im sorry i never came to visit you im sorry im not happy like you were or carefree like you were im sorry this happened im sorry im sorry!!! I just want my brother back. And he is never coming back. So how do you people do it? How do you live everyday with a huge black hole in your heart and bitterness and anger and frustration and aching how do you do it.