The Most Important Person in My Life
A few things so this makes sense. I am a teenage girl. Since I was 10, me and my dad have not gotten along. We have slowly come to the point of not talking or looking at each other. My mom left when I was young. And my grandma has always been my mother figure; she helped raise me.
November 28, 2013, Thanksgiving day, my whole world came to a stop. My grandma had called me after a while of not talking, because my dad would not let me talk to her. We had got to talking, and she told me she was sick again. Now, she had been diagnosed with kidney disease in the summer of 2012. She had just had a stomach bacteria that caused her to puke frequently and not keep anything down. So I had known for a while she wasn't doing great. She had a major heart attack several years ago, and she used to smoke. Well, my response to her being sick was "Gosh gram." She replied saying no, it's bad this time. I was like what do you mean? What's wrong? She said, I have cancer. I broke down and repeatedly said no. She was only 71. She was still young for today's standards, too young to die. So she told me it was liver cancer and the doctors may have found a spot on the lung. We talked a bit more, her begging me not to worry. But she has been the only one there for me, the only one on my side. When I got in trouble, for petty things, she was always on my team. She was the only one. I figured I would have longer with her. I figured God would grant her wish of seeing me graduate high school, and hopefully get married. I figured the good Lord would make her so happy as to see me grow up even more. I'm currently a freshman in high school, and 15 years old. In my opinion, too young to have to deal with the loss of the most important person in my life.
So, one week later, My grandma was staying with my uncle since she was too weak and sick to be by herself. So I called him a couple of times, to no reply. So, I left a voice mail. A few minutes later, I got a reply. I vividly remember him sounding so sad. I asked him if in the morning we could visit my grandma. And I'll never forget his next words: If she makes it until then, you can see her. I responded, well, what are you talking about? He said hospice was there, and she wasn't doing good. We bolted to my uncles house. We got there, and I walked in, already in tears from the 45 minute trip. I went to her hospital bed in my uncles room, and I'll never forget how bad she looked. She had a cute green beanie with a pink flower on it, since she had lost her hair, though she hadn't gone through chemotherapy yet. She had always been a skinny person, but now her cheeks were pulled in, and she looked deathly ill. She couldn't speak, and she had been sleeping most of the day. When she woke up, I said hi grandma, tears quickly forming in my eyes. She smiled and I saw a small tear in her eye. I told her I love her, and she mumbled out a distorted I love you too. As it turned out, she also had lung cancer, so her speech was light and she was too weak to stay awake long. I held her hand a whole hour until we went home.
The next morning, we had all woken up and were sitting around waiting for a possible call. My cousin told us if anything happened he would call. I sat in my room, and heard my dad's phone go off. "Oh god" is what I heard from him before he picked up the phone, I knew my cousin had called. I got up, and got dressed, preparing for the worst. My step mom came in, and said she was gone. I sunk to the floor and yelled out and cried. December 7, 2013, was the day my world collapsed. A week and 3 days after she was diagnosed with liver and lung cancer, she had died. To this day, I still can't wrap my mind around it. I still don't believe fully that she's gone. I constantly sit in my room, when I'm home alone, and just talk to her, hoping she can hear me. I think about her all the time. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wanna scream on the top of my lungs. I have no support. I've moved to a new school recently and don't have close friends. I have no one to talk to. I just can't believe it. I want to, but deep down I refuse to believe that she's gone. It's sad. I just can't cope.
If you read this far, thank you for listening. Even if you don't comment, thanks for listening. It means the entire world to me. I have no one else to listen to me, so thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you.