The Only Dad I Had

My dad committed suicide on Sept 28th 2012. I found out the next day. My dad was abusive to my mom and had problems with his anger. He cheated on my mom & often beat his girlfriend. He talked so bad to me that his number got blocked from my phone & he has been arrested for DUI, domestic violence, & physical abuse, but I thought he was starting to change. It hurts, a lot, & now my little sister (who is 10) is once again suffering from depression. Even though my dad wasn’t perfect, i know he loved me, and he was my dad, he was the only Dad i had & the only Dad I wanted & I loved him a-lot and I don’t know how we will carry on without him, and I don’t know why he killed himself & it makes me wonder what I did wrong, makes me worry that his death was my fault, but I know it’s just grief talking & that God will bring my family through this.

Comments for The Only Dad I Had

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Oct 08, 2012
get it
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry for your loss i know how it feels my dad killed himself recently too

Oct 01, 2012
The Only Dad I Had
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your Dad from suicide and also for your loss of relationship with your Dad. I hope you and your sister and also your mom will consider grief counselling. It is so important in cases of suicide. this is a sudden and traumatic death and will affect your grief. More so if your sister as young as 10yrs. is suffering from depression. This won't get better. It will get worse and her school work will suffer. Don't take on the whole problem. You also need to take care of yourself. You need to stop blaming yourself, for feeling that somehow it was your fault. It is never anyone's fault. Your dad was an adult with serious problems and the only way he felt he could handle this was to end his life. This way he felt he was ending his suffering. He was creating your suffering. After a death it is the ones' left behind that suffer. Many men cannot handle life's changing situations and so become angry. I hope you one day don't think that this is the only way out. You and your family have a chance to handle life's problems through counselling. It does work. I have done it. I GOT MY LIFE BACK. I suffered depression badly. It is important though to find a counsellor that works for you. If one doesn't help you move forward find another one till you get the right one. You won't regret this. You will come through this. Of course your father LOVED you all. He just couldn't handle life. It got in the way of his loving you to the point that you knew it. Even if your dad was abusive to you it may be due to something from his own childhood that is resurfacing now and made him the angry person he was and so he took his own life. My husband was dying and in all the 44yrs. of being married to him he never talked about someone molested him when he was 7yrs. old. That is why my husband was always a very sad man. Everyone handles life's problems differently. my husband drank a lot. I guess he was trying to drown his sorrows. He never talked about this before. My husband wasn't a violent man. He was the opposite. A Gentle Giant. But everyone acts differently to what they went through in life. My father is 91yrs. He was badly abused by his father. He used to beat us thinking it was discipline. But he cared so much also for us and we loved him and would not hold this against him. We were poor and my dad would go out on a cold winter's night and cut down trees for firewood to keep us warm. I am sure you understand now what I am saying. God will see you through this, and you will get your life back. Trust in God.

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