The pain of my loss
(St. Louis, MO)
I lost my daughter in Jan. 2011. She was 36 years old. I watched her suffer for a year with breast cancer. She had a mastectomy, removal of all the lymph nodes on the right side but one, expanders put in for re-construction, a port put in her chest for chemo treatments & meds, and finally radiation. She fought so hard, and had a clean pet scan in July. In Nov. she went to the hospital with severe headaches. The doctors found a brain tumor which had metastasized from the breast cancer. After the brain surgery the doctors decided the cancer had spread to her spinal column and nothing more could be done for her. She ended up in hospice where she passed away in a week.
I still can't believe this all happened. I am overwhelmed with grief and guilt. I am the Mom, I was supposed to make her feel better and get rid of the hurt like when she was a little girl! I go to work and function in a fog. I come home and cry every night when I look at her picture. Everyone expects you to get on with your life and they are clueless to the pain. I read in a book that "you will never be the same person you were" after a loss like this.
Thank you for letting me share my story!