The plane crash that stole my happiness and my everything

by malia
(hawaii)

The chances of someone dying in a plane crash is 1 in 11 million but yet my mom was in a plane crash on 2/26/14. She wasn't only my world but my son's and dad's world as well. She was perfect, her hugs and kisses and love was amazing. She had a way to make people feel special when she talked to them. Now she's gone and I have this pain in my chest that will not go away. I have extreme sadness and anger all at the same time. People keep telling me to be strong for my dad and son and I want to scream! My wedding is in a month and she planned 99% of it. All this pain and sadness makes me wanna die. I am the only girl in this house and I don't know how to deal with all of this emptiness. How do I live, how do I move on? Just being with my son makes me so hard because I grieve for him and the lack of memories never made with his grammy.

Comments for The plane crash that stole my happiness and my everything

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Mar 21, 2014
Sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

I too lost my mom.. she fell asleep 3/13/13 and never woke up. She was not sick and it was completely unexpected. I know the pain you feel and it truly never goes away. Someone told me that each day would get easier and it did. It took a long time for me to get back to living life. I was sad and crying all the time. I too have a young child who was the apple of my mother's eye. I had to be strong for him and my dad. It will take time but trust that it will all be okay and that she is always with you.

Mar 21, 2014
unbelievable
by: malia

Thank you everyone..it's been 23 days since she died and it's still hard. I haven't been able to go back to work since me and my mom worked in the same office. My wedding which she was planning is in 3 weeks. I know I should be grateful that she did so much for the wedding but it's so sad. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think she would not be here to see me get married.

Mar 13, 2014
Deeply Sorry for the loss of your Dear Mother
by: Brenda-CA

I completely understand how you are feeling. My beautiful mother passed away Dec.21, 2013, due to severe medical negligence. I am completely devastated. I totally understand how upset it makes you when people tell you to "be strong", until someone loses their dear mother, they will never know how it feels, or how hard it is to be alive without her. I am as you, very angry, very hurt, lost... and I have a son of my own and I try very hard to keep pushing for him. I feel as if nobody cares about my pain. Like they want me back to myself, just because they're annoyed with how I am at the moment. I understand your pain, the devastation, the emptiness. It's very hard to not kill myself. But I know if I do, I will never meet with her again. Please take care of yourself. Prayers to you and your family.

Mar 13, 2014
Dear Malia,
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to read your post. I lost my father suddenly, and can understand the complete shock and pain that you are going through. Take your time, take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself as you begin to heal. I hope you find some peace in the days ahead, Barb

Mar 12, 2014
Malia
by: Judith in California

Malia, all I can say is instead of being strong...be human. Cry when you need to feel what you feel. Do not suppress your feelings. Grieve as you need to. No one should tell you to be strong. You will be that anyway. Grieving is not for the weak.

Be there for your Father and your son but be there for you too.


God bless you at this sad time and see you through .

Mar 12, 2014
The plane crash that stole my happiness and my everything
by: Doreen UK

Malia I am sorry for your loss of your mom in a plane crash. You said "How do you go on?" "How do you deal with all this emptiness?" ONE DAY AT A TIME. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 22 months ago to a deadly cancer and I still feel sorrow so deep. But I get through each day by taking ONE DAY AT A TIME. I don't make plans ahead. Only for each day as it comes. Living in the UK I didn't get to meet my grandmother or forge any relationship with her, and she died many years ago. I lost my mom 11 yrs. ago and I am only just able to look at her photo's. As time goes on I am forgetting the memories of having my mother in my life. This is the downside to losing your mom. I fear this happening when the years go by and I lose sight of my husband and the life we had. As new memories replace old one's this is the time we will only remember certain things from our past. Some memories stay forever. Children have a way of remembering more than we do. They retain the information better and for longer. Don't become too strong for everyone else otherwise you may harm yourself more emotionally. Take life as it comes but keep an eye on your father and include him in your life. He will need some ALONE down time to process his own thoughts and loss of his wife, in order to grieve. If we rush in to protect the parent who is alive we may impede their progress through grief. It is trying to maintain a balance that will be important for everyone. It is going to take a long time for all of us to recover from grief. It is a very painful and hard journey. I never thought I would feel the way I do and be hurt so deeply by the loss of close beloved family members. The cycle of life goes on and we just drift with each day hoping it will be a better day. You will eventually be able to structure your days and life better. I wish you every happiness in life. I hope your wedding day goes well despite the loss of your mother. Best wishes.

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